FSJ's Anti-AT&T Manifesto Makes Me Raise My Fist in Solidarity

Illustration for article titled FSJs Anti-ATT Manifesto Makes Me Raise My Fist in Solidarity

Fake Steve Jobs' new "chat" with AT&T's Randall Stephenson from a few days ago has him hitting brilliant new heights. He really nails why AT&T's network failures are so infuriating. This is essential reading, if you missed it.

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While I'm ranting, let me ask you something, Randall. At the risk of sounding like Glenn Beck Jr. - what the fuck has gone wrong with our country? Used to be, we were innovators. We were leaders. We were builders. We were engineers. We were the best and brightest. We were the kind of guys who, if they were running the biggest mobile network in the U.S., would say it's not enough to be the biggest, we also want to be the best, and once they got to be the best, they'd say, How can we get even better? What can we do to be the best in the whole fucking world? What can we do that would blow people's fucking minds? They wouldn't have sat around wondering about ways to fuck over people who loved their product. But then something happened. Guys like you took over the phone company and all you cared about was milking profit and paying off assholes in Congress to fuck over anyone who came along with a better idea, because even though it might be great for consumers it would mean you and your lazy pals would have to get off your asses and start working again in order to keep up.

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Yes, this is in the arrogant, blustery Fake Steve voice, but make no mistake: there's nothing sarcastic about the message or the content here. [Fake Steve Jobs]

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DISCUSSION

I guess I'm in the minority, but I'm getting awfully tired of the lionizing of people (such as FSJ) whose vocabulary ranges not far beyond the vernacular of sailors, drunken frat boys, and uneducated rasslin' fans. I don't care if he does have a point, he loses me in his juvenile fascination with an overused-but-still-offensive four letter epithet and his disjointed invective.

It would be nice to see someone post an impassioned speech that manages to toe the line of decorum and respect for one's audience. But I don't supposed that would make the duuuudes at Gizmodo "raise their fists in solidarity." Pity.

By the way, FSJ does not carry nearly the amount of influence some people would like to assign him. Just because one dislikes AT&T's obvious remissness, there is little reason to jump in lockstep with any potty-mouthed, puerile fool who agrees.

FSJ is "Zune Tattoo Guy" with a different gadget. Mommy is calling, Mr. Lyons. Time for bed!