More Evidence Streetcars Are Lame

How hard can it be to ride a streetcar? Apparently DC thinks its residents need help understanding how its newest transportation mode works.

Advertisement

In advance of the city’s streetcar opening later this month, the District of Columbia’s Department of Transportation has produced a video to teach people how to ride it. The first thing you probably want to know about this video is why the stars are wearing such weird, outdated clothing. That’s because the streetcar project began long, long ago—so long ago, in fact, that all the development the streetcar promised to bring has already been finished. It was so long ago, in fact, that people dressed and acted differently back then. Which also explains a lot about this tutorial.

When the streetcar finally opens on February 27, DC residents will be able to travel from Union Station along H Street on the two-mile line—yep, a distance they could also easily walk in about 40 minutes. And walking is what they’ll be forced to do on Sundays, when the streetcar does not run.

[District of Columbia’s Department of Transportation via CityLab]

Follow the author at @awalkerinLA

DISCUSSION

snapalongs
Snap Alongs

Common Questions You May Have About Riding the Street Car:

Q- Do I need to rock a side-pony when riding the street car?

A- No, but a side-pony will most certainly help you get a date with that hunk-o-streetcar rider in the next car (wink wink)!

Q-Should I wear cheap headphones when riding the street car?

A- Yes, you should! Head phones are Kewllll! They’re almost as COOL (nudge nudge) as riding the street car!

Q- What facial expressions should I use when riding the street car?

A- We here at Streetcar Facial Expressions recommend using Frustrated Commuter™, The Happy Commuter™, Itchy Junkie™, Smoldering Housewife™, Leering Psoriatic Elder™, and Do You Lift Bro?™ (Note- a sweatband is suggested with the latter to make it genuine!) Feel free to mix it up a bit too! Try a hesitant smile, then break into a broader grin as you realize how fun Riding The Street Car™ is™!

Q- How will Riding the Street Car improve my life?

A- Oh you poor fool! Why, Riding the Street Car will change your life in just about every way possible! For the better too! (Note- have Jane in legal insert boiler plate disclaimer here. Note-grope Jane when she comes down. Note- remember to take this part out)

Q- I’m thinking of Riding the Street Car. Should I?

A- Why, You betcha!

We Here at Riding the Street Car™ hope we™ have™ been™ helpful™!!!™