On Smallville, Ultraman is incestuously evil

Illustration for article titled On Smallville, Ultraman is incestuously evil

Friday's Smallville, "Luthor," featured that old superheroic stalwart: the evil alternate dimension doppelganger. Clark's pandimensional twin, Clark "Ultraman" Luthor, was so evil that he had carnal relations with his adopted sister, Tess. Oh Smallville, you deviant program!


Two weeks ago, we had that bondage-heavy Aquaman episode. After a hiatus for Thanksgiving, Smallville is back to plumb the depths of sibling taboos. Barring Tess and Clark's Shannon-and-Boone routine, "Luthor" was a straightforward tale with nary a cornball digression. In short, Clark and Tess discover one of the rapidly aging Alexander Luthor's safe houses. Clark berates her for keeping secrets, when he suddenly touches a Kryptonian artifact Lionel Luthor's estate had mysteriously bequeathed to Tess.

Illustration for article titled On Smallville, Ultraman is incestuously evil

This artifact transports Clark to alternate, dystopian dimension (which we'll refer to as "Earth 2" for convenience's sake) where he was raised by Lionel Luthor instead of the Kents. He wakes up in this dimension, post-threesome with what Lionel implies are two escorts. After some father-son bonding with Kryptonian alloy fencing foils, Clark immediately bolts to the shuttered Kent farm, where Tess is waiting for an erotic liaison. Clark is skeeved out proper by having intercourse with his parallel dimension adopted sister in an abandoned barn, so he finds Lois, who's engaged to Oliver Queen.

Clark deduces that his alternate dimension twin, "Ultraman," is running amok in Earth-1. Sure enough, Ultraman is there, looking to destroy the Kryptonian artifact so he can declare himself God-King of Dimension Sap. Earth-1 Oliver, Lois, and Tess aren't going to take this lying down, and a huge Watchtower-destroying battle takes place off-camera, which is kind of a neat twist.

Also, Earth-2 Lionel hitches a ride back to Earth-1 via the Kryptonian artifact. "I guess I'm back in the nick of time," Lionel fourth-wall-breakingly muses to a newspaper salesman. "Wouldn't want to miss how it all turns out." I'm suspecting some sort of Alexander/Lionel team-up down the line.


In lieu of a proper Luthor threat, we get the oddball threat of a rapidly aging clone and his alternate dimension dad. Given that Lionel seemed irked that Ultraman killed Earth-2 Lex, I'm assuming he'll take what he can get.



If they aren't actually brother and sister, it's not really all that deviant.