This pizza cake can change civilization FOREVER

Illustration for article titled This pizza cake can change civilization FOREVER

This is not something you can buy yet but—come this summer—you may be able to order Boston Pizza's Pizza Cake, a clear sign of the demise of our civilization, which apparently has been replaced by a bunch of reckless individuals with no sense of what's good or evil.


Boston Pizza is asking its customers what they want to see in their summer menu. They gave them some options to vote: The pizza cake is number one in the count by a wide margin. The only caveat: You would have to live in Canada in order to be able to have this crazy invention. But fear not, is it successful, I'm sure a million rivals would follow all around the United States. It's the perfect food to make everyone fat, fast.

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So this was a thing in maybe the early 90's...The Priazzo from Pizza Hut. It was basically a stuffed pizza. I went to pizza hut with my folks to try it, and the inside was raw. You'd think that once a product got to the point where they served it to customers, they's know how to make and cook it properly...guess not!

The point is, there is NO WAY this thing could cook if all put together as raw ingredients. Maybe if the insides were pre-cooked and then the literal "toppings" were added before a final bake, perhaps...but there's just no way this thing would actually come out tasting good while being hot at acceptable temperatures.

Now, if the thing is actually cake that looks like pizza, then its creator deserves the Nobel Prize.