Vote 2020 graphic
Everything you need to know about and expect during
the most important election of our lifetimes

Regretsy: For Anyone Who Didn't See the Creepy Side to Making and Selling Your Own Crafts

Illustration for article titled Regretsy: For Anyone Who Didnt See the Creepy Side to Making and Selling Your Own Crafts

As much as I admire people who believe enough in their artistic output to foist it on others for money, I knew Etsy had a dark side. Well, someone with the no-nonsense pseudonym Helen Killer just showed it to me:

Here are a few choice excerpts from Regretsy (NSFW); just a taste, mind you, no substitute for a visit. Be careful, though, because the amazing site is not always safe for work. Looking over the entries makes me wish it were as fictitious as Kasper Hauser's brilliant—but mercifully fake—SkyMaul.

Regarding the lovely lady and her cheese-grater clock, Regretsy says: Oh sure, it's not perfect, but you try cleaning a cheese grater with a cigarette.

Illustration for article titled Regretsy: For Anyone Who Didnt See the Creepy Side to Making and Selling Your Own Crafts
Advertisement


Regretsy says: Whenever I hear "Michael Jackson", I immediately think "baseball". Well technically, I think "Little League", but you know what I'm saying. [Link]

Illustration for article titled Regretsy: For Anyone Who Didnt See the Creepy Side to Making and Selling Your Own Crafts
Advertisement


Regretsy says: Usually I just use the guest towels when we're out of toilet paper. [Link]

Illustration for article titled Regretsy: For Anyone Who Didnt See the Creepy Side to Making and Selling Your Own Crafts
Advertisement


Regretsy says: You know what goats like? They like grass. They don't like having leopard outfits strapped to their sagging haunches like Kim Cattrall. [Link]

Illustration for article titled Regretsy: For Anyone Who Didnt See the Creepy Side to Making and Selling Your Own Crafts
Advertisement


Regretsy says: Santo trompas de Falopio! Who wouldn't want to curl up with the stuffed reproductive organs of Mexico's most famous bisexual surrealist? [Link]

It goes without saying "Santo trompas de Falopio!" is my new favorite expression of surprise. Hit the site for way more where this came from. [Regretsy (NSFW)]

Advertisement

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

RicketyCricket
RicketyCricket

What? No rag on a stick?