Illustration for article titled Talking Crotches Now Protected from Deadly Cellphones

We know a lot of guys whose crotches do the thinking for them, but we've yet to see anyone pressing a cellphone up against the old 'nads for a cellphone conversation. If there are such people, here's some radiation-proof underwear that'll keep those balls protected from deadly radiation, keeping their billions and billions of delicate sperm out of harm's way. You do know that cellphones emit killer rays that fry your brain with every call, don't you? Imagine what they could do to your family jewels.


These most excellent black briefs have silver threads woven within, keeping that cellphone radiation out of your pants. Now what will Jason do when he puts that perhaps-pantsworthy iPhone down his pants next month? Voicemail will have to do, because according to the Swiss underwear maker Isabodywear, he won't get very good reception wearing a pair of these $24 bloomers.

New men's underwear protects from harmful cell phone rays [Textually]

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