Teen Capable Only of Texting to Be Euthanized, Reports The Onion

Illustration for article titled Teen Capable Only of Texting to Be Euthanized, Reports The Onion

Tragic news today reported in a hard-hitting Onion exclusive. A teenage girl, capable only of texting and rolling her eyes sarcastically has been declared legally brain-dead, and will be euthanized by her parents. Using this case as precedent, bodies are sure to be stacking up, judging by what I see on the subway every day.

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And before anybody freaks out, no this isn't real. But it is hilarious, and it hits a little close to home. [The Onion]

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DISCUSSION

WestwoodDenizen
WestwoodDenizen

I don't want to be too hard on you, Brent, but you're a wee bit nutless for including that disclaimer at the end. People not realizing that The Onion is what The Onion is... that's one of the very best things about the internet. Instead you've watered down what would otherwise be an entire work day's reading of indignant comments. Comments either criticizing Giz for reporting a story that sounds false, or comments outraged that this girl is being put down.

You've made a weak, weak enemy this day, Brent.