The Onion speaks more truth than it would care to admit, as always:
With fuel prices rising and the cost of food at an all-time high, experts have said Americans have far less cash to recklessly fritter away. However, many have reportedly managed to continue splurging on stupid shit by finding ways to make their wasted dollars go further.
"On the one hand, it kills me to go another month without winged-skull seat covers for our Suburban, but on the other, I can't bear the thought of my kids opening the kitchen cupboard and finding only three or four different kinds of Doritos," Schmeltzer added. "But right now we just can't have both. It's a nightmare."