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Unedited: This CO2-Powered Gauntlet’s Claims of Crushing Prowess Are Unimpressive

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It might look like a bad-ass start to your own Iron Man suit, but on closer inspection this $3,300 CO2-powered Exo-Gauntlet on Etsy won’t quite give you Tony Stark-like superpowers.

In fact, its claims of crushing cans, plastic cups, and bruising arms don’t exactly seem like they’ll make any our superhero fantasies come true. And, if this thing were to malfunction, you’d probably find yourself in the hospital instead of accepting the keys to the city from the mayor. Here’s how it was greeted in our Gizmodo chat room:

Andrew L. can I interest anyone in a C02 powered gauntlet with 250 psi of crushing power? http://www.etsy.com/listing/963181…

Michael Z. awesome

Barrett me, andrew, me!

Andrew L. sold!

Michael Z. where did you find?

Casey C. whats normal crushing power

Jesus it depends on how the force is exerted and where

that thing looks dangerous

for whoever is wearing it

but cool

Andrew L. around 40psi from what I can see

Michael Z. well you have those grip trainers which typically have 40-80 lbs of resistance. don’t know what that means exactly but it should be some indaction

Barrett like for example I can crush a walnut with my thumb and forefinger

(no I can’t)

Joe how many PSI does it take to crumple quarter-inch steel like burnt paper?

Andrew L. for $3,300 you can!

Joe because I can do that with my mind

Jesus “When activated all the fingers close with a grip strong enough to break hard plastic cups and crush empty cans.”

Jesus ?

Sam B. that’s not very strong…

Jesus yeah

that’s kind of shitty

Joe I like to crush full cans

Jesus I can crush empty cans

and “hard plastic cup”

Joe and drink the soda through the cuts in my hands

Sam B. I’m not any kind of badass and I can crush a can

Jesus what’s a hard plastic cup for these people?

Michael Z. red solo cup

Jesus I’m not impressed by this shit contraption

Andrew L. probably not a red solo

Wagner jock strap

Jesus “At this power level the gauntlet has a grip so strong it will bruise your arm.”

hahaha

Andrew T. what does it do to melons?

Michael Z. hahaha crushing a mini watermelon or canteloupe in one hand would be boss

Jesus I can bruise an arm with my bare hand. What are these shitty examples?

Barrett hahahaha

Sam B. changed the room’s topic to I’m not impressed by this shit contraption

Sam B. “At max power it can pinch a baby’s bottom and make it smile”

Sam B. “At max power it can make a piece of lettuce crinkle”

Jesus this seems like some wanker who wanted to become a supervillain and discovered his powergaunlet was shit

and then is trying to sell it

Barrett “Some users choose to ‘overclock’ their gauntlet, allowing them to squeeze juice from an overripe tomato.”

Sam B. “At max power I can wave hello to you from across a restaurant”

Joe UNEDITED

Barrett

Jesus hah

Sam B. OH CHRIST AHHHHHHHH THE GAUNTLET BRUISED MY ARM

DEPLOY THE EMP

Jesus this power gaunlet is useless

Sam B. DEPLOY THE … EM…….. P………..

Jesus stupid gaunlet

Joe Let’s definitely post this as an unedited Andrew

[Etsy via Cnet]

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