According to this US Cellular ad, when you talk on your phone in public, flowers fly out of every one of your puckered orifices, you stop disappointing everyone in all of your personal relationships, and every stranger around you suddenly sees you as King Brilliant of Mount Saint Awesome. According to my personal observations, when you use your cellphone in public you turn into a self-centered jackass that everybody wants to punch in the face. Which is more accurate? You be the judge. [Gawker]