Someday we won’t have any more lawns, just pools

Could this propaganda generated by the aquatic-industrial complex be accurate? Here’s what Let’s Pool Together claims: “On average, water use, including filling, in the first year a pool is installed is 26,250 gallons. An 800 square-foot lawn uses approximately 30,000 gallons per year.”

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The average American pool is about 20,000 gallons in size and then, yes, you have to refill it. While it’s harder to estimate the average amount of water used to keep a lawn green depending on yard size, turf type, and climate, it’s certainly feasible that a homeowner could use 30,000 gallons of water to water a lawn over the course of a year. The average American household uses 300 gallons of water a day, and about a third of that is water used outside the home itself. So yes, technically the math is correct.

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How to keep your pool drought-friendly: Put on a cover to prevent evaporation and NO cannonballs

But unfortunately for everyone, pool sales are down—way down—as cities in the more-arid-than-normal West are putting a freeze on approving new pool permits or preventing homeowners from filling and topping off pools. Why would cities do this when clearly pools are the answer to all our water problems???

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If you want to build a pool to help the people of California—because why else would you want one, really?—start by tearing out your lawn. Many cities offer lawn buyback incentives, so perhaps you could use that to help finance this initial investment required for your own drought-busting infrastructure.

But you actually don’t even need to go through the effort of installing the actual pool to make a difference. Just dig a big hole in your backyard—big enough to bury $20,000 in cash. Then simply water your lawn-less yard half as much as you did the year before. Voila, you’ve saved water!

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[AP]