Watch out for the Blues Brother space vampire, Traci Lords!

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The 1988 remake of Roger Corman classic Not Of This Earth has the following things that are unarguably awesome: Space vampires, mind control, "sparkly eyes" weaponry, and Traci Lords in a nurse outfit.

It's a simple tale of space vampires who dress like the Blues Brothers (unless they are women, in which case they dress entirely in spandex). They've fled their homeworld due to war and famine and blah blah blah, and have to come to Earth seeking our rich, tasty, nourishing blood. When Jonathan the vampire goes to get his daily transfusion, he meets Nurse Traci Lords, and hires her to be his personal transfuser on the spot. Yes, the plot makes just that much sense. But who cares, because Traci is wearing nurse outfits, bathing suits, foofy tops, shiny tops, foofy skirts, and sometimes nothing when she has sex by floofing her hair around.

She starts to suspect Jonathan is killing people and starts investigating! OMG, it turns out that he really is killing people, because Phase 4 in the 5 phase "invade Earth and drink blood" plan involves (inexplicably) sending hot ladies back to the home planet, thus causing them to be crushed to the size of dildos. It all makes sense when you consider that this guy from the homeworld is calling all the shots:

He looks like the alien cousin of The Dude from The Big Lebowski.

Things get really exciting when vampire alien confronts foofy-skirted Traci! And then Traci's friend calls Jonathan a klingon and tries to kill him! And then there is grabbing and foofiness and OMG! Will Traci ever escape?

You'll just have to watch this movie and see!

That's right, Not Of This Earth comes out on DVD in early November. It's one of the best bad movies you'll ever watch.