We Hope Apple Wins the Patent Wars

Illustration for article titled We Hope Apple Wins the Patent Wars

Those brilliant Apple dickheads just got a new patent victory. And you know what? Good for them! Good for you too, Android users included. I hope they win all of their wars, because that would be good for all of us.

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What's the ban

A Dutch court has banned all trading of Samsung Galaxy S, Galaxy S II and Ace across most countries in Europe. Samsung's primary European distribution hub is in the Netherlands. Effectively, this will shut down most of their European distribution unless the company modifies its logistics.

The judge thinks that Samsung has violated the method for swiping through a photo gallery. Samsung has already said that the photo browsing conflict can easily be solved with a modification, a statement that basically validates Apple. Why didn't Samsung implement this modification in their browsing photos system if they knew it was a copy of Apple's method from the beginning?

Because they are a cheap bag of lazy, unimaginative bastards, that's why. And that makes us mad.

True invention vs lazy mothers

When he introduced the iPhone, Steve Jobs said they had patented the hell out of it, and rightly so. I'm sure that, of those patents, there are a lot that could be challenged in court. But there are many others, like the ones above, that can't be challenged because Apple actually invented them from scratch. Something like unlocking the screen by dragging an unlock image may seem trivial to you, but someone had to come up with the idea in the first place. And, there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of little things like that that Apple put into the first iPhone that nobody thought about first.

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And those little things, that whole set of ideas and methods, is one of the reasons why the iPhone was a raging success. Love them or hate them, by inventing all these codes Apple implemented a new language that has quickly become embedded into our minds and lives. It's so good, so intuitive and natural, that we all have adopted it without even thinking about it. That includes Apple's rivals.

Those rivals, like Google, Samsung, or HTC, just said "oh fuck this, let's all do the same" and came up with devices that are mostly copies of what Apple put out in their first iPhone. Sure, they added some stuff of their own and sure, Apple's user interface has some aspects that are not original. But mostly the iPhone's competitors are clones that show no imagination, no better ways to do things.

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We need new, better things

Because yes, there are better ways to do things. Or at least different ways. You only have to come up with them. Look no further than Microsoft Windows Phone 7. The vilified Redmond company actually had the imagination and the balls to make something different. And, in that process, they actually came up with better ideas than Apple's.

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That's good for everyone. It introduces diversity, new methods, evolution. That, as someone who loves brilliant technology, excites me. You should be excited too. And you should hope that Apple wins all these patent wars against the lame and lazy. Because that would mean they'll all have to do something new to beat Apple at their own game.

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So yes, go Apple lawyers team go!—in a fuck you kind of way. [Foss Patents and de Rechtspraak]


You can keep up with Jesus Diaz, the author of this post, on Twitter, Facebook, or Google+.

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DISCUSSION

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OCEntertainment

What a load of horse shit.

One patent. One measly patent, and everyone but Apple "are a cheap bag of lazy, unimaginative bastards". Nevermind that this case was over quite a few patents, not to mention the entire "look and feel" of the devices, and none of it was substantiated in court save this one patent.

Nevermind that you, yourself, admit that not everything Apple has done is original. Nevermind that an overwhelming majority of the features introduced by Apple in iOS 5 were "borrowed" from or "inspired" by features that others have been using for years.

Nevermind that the one example you have given of someone doing things different solely for the sake of doing something different has yet to establish any significant level of marketshare, and has even done that largely by buying up developers, manufacturers, partners, and advertising with their overwhelming amount of spare cash, rather than the devices selling on their own merits.

No, no. You're right. Apple is the only one in the entire world that could possibly come up with any good ideas. All of this success that their competitors are having? Yeah. That's totally because of Apple. It's obvious that if Apple and their competitors competed on a level playing field, Apple would wipe the floor with everyone else. Also, pay no attention to that survey behind the curtain.

You're absolutely right. Google didn't do anything else but copy Apple. They used those icons! And...and swiping!! Because of these two ideas, every single thing they ever did in their OS, including GPS navigation, speech synthesis, notification systems, customizable themes, built-in IM clients, cloud data back ups, and all the other things that made people love their platform. Yeah. They did that because of Apple. Hell, iOS 5 isn't Apple copying others! They're just taking back what's rightfully theirs! Good ideas belong to Apple.

Oh, and HTC? Ha! Fat bunch of jackasses they are. Nevermind that you, Jesus Diaz, wrote a glowing article about the materials used in the HTC Hero that...what were the words you used? "Kicks the iPhone's plastic ass"? Yeah. No. They never did that. HTC never raised the bar or made any improvements in the world of smartphone hardware. The Desire, the Inspire, the Evo. Nope. None of them ever contributed anything to the world of smartphones.

And no, Samsung never introduced those gorgeous SAMOLED+ displays that are simply stunning to look at. Nope. Samsung never bothered to compete with Apple's Retina Display. Never tried to push that tech forward. Apple did it, in fact! Apple was the one who really developed SAMOLED+ displays. In fact, it was Steve Job's idea! Samsung just stole it when Steve Jobs mentioned it during one of their meetings to discuss Samsung's real talent, building parts for Apple devices. They really should just stick with what they're good at.

And why does none of it count? Because Samsung used a swiping gesture that Apple used first. Yep. That's the reason. Because you found one example of one company doing something Apple did first, no one has ever done anything smart but Apple.

I feel like this is the part where I should try to find some middle ground. Because, really, a lot of these companies have come up with some brilliant ideas. Apple, Google, HTC, Samsung, Motorola, hell even LG, ASUS, and Dell have occasionally contributed some cool thoughts. But that's not what you want. You want anyone who's ever done anything that even remotely looks like Apple to be cut off from the market. Well, that leaves in a pretty tough spot when someone turns it around on Apple and sues them for the "look and feel" of their notification shade. Or their cloud-sync solutions. Or their BBM-err, sorry. iMessenger.

Learn to lighten up, Diaz. Yes. Some people did something that looks like something Apple did. Apple does it too. You can either get your panties in a bunch over it, or just enjoy the fact that thanks to everyone, your smartphone is getting better.