Greetings, post-apocalyptic postal service users! I heard
you all are experiencing the “polar vortex,” and there’s some debate about
whether it’s a result of global warming, or proof that global warming is bunk,
or whatever. As a person living in the future, I feel you all should know two
things: 1) global warming is real, and 2) The vortex is being caused by space
yetis. Use that information as you see fit.
Nerd Is the Word
mlb:
Postman:
What is the nerdiest branch of all possible
nerdlinesses? I could offer some possible examples but I think you know what I
mean… wink wink nudge nudge say no more.
Some
of you know I used to work at Wizard Entertainment, which put out a variety of
nerd-based magazines — comics, toys, anime, and CCGs, to be specific. There was
very much a hierarchy of nerdiness going on there that informs my thoughts on
this, but you folks let me know if you disagree.
The
comics guys were at the top of the chain, partially because Wizard was the flagship magazine of the
company, but also because of all the comic book movies that were beginning to come
out (I was hired in 2001) and because comics themselves were on quite a
resurgence of quality from the dark days of the ’90s. A close second to them
were the toy guys of ToyFare, of which I was initially one; toys were a bit
less cool than comics, in that most of the toys folks collected were still sold alongside Fisher-Price and Barbie and such. But the collector’s market had
begun in earnest, toys were being stocked in comics stores, and if you liked certain comics characters there was at least
a 50% chance you’d want to own action figures of those characters.
Third
in the social stratum were the Anime Insider guys, which I became. There were lots of
reasons for this, but partially because anime was a pretty new fandom, partially
because it was foreign, and partially because a lot of the comics guys had no
desire to learn anything about those crazy comic books with the big eyes that
people had to read backwards. It’s silly to think that comics about
super-powered people in tights were inherently better than the wide variety of
manga available, even then, but more than a few people at Wizard felt that way, and I’m sure some still do. The fact that superhero movies are big business nowadays while major anime movies
get the occasional small theatrical release before hitting DVD indicates to me
that this can be extrapolated to all of nerd-dom, even now.
At the
bottom of the hierarchy was the collectible card guys. They virtually never
interacted with any of the rest of the groups; while all the other magazine
editors would go eat lunch together, the CCG guys would sit off by themselves
and play CCGs. Every. Day. I don’t want to disparage them, they were perfectly
nice — well, some of them were perfectly nice, and a few did indeed embody the
socially awkward stereotype of nerds that many people have — but the fact of the
matter is, generally any of the anime, comics or toy guys could pick up one of
the other magazines and understand what was being written about and why the
other group was so excited about it, but none of us could pick up Inquest, the
CCG magazine, and understand a single fucking word in there. It was all crazy
proper nouns and crazy terms and crazy rules, none of which made any sense to
us whatsoever. It might have well been written in Wingdings.
Again, I don’t want
to knock these guys for their passions, but there’s something about CCGs breeds
kind of an insularity of nerdiness. Maybe because people can be somewhat into
comics, buy the occasional collectible, or maybe check out a well-known anime series
on Netflix, but with CCGs you’re sort of required to be passionate. You have to
learn the rules, if you want to have any chance of competing you have to have
certain cards, and to get those you have to spend a certain amount of money. With
CCGs you’re either all in or you probably shouldn’t bother, and the people who
tend to go all in often seem to do so to the exclusion of most everything else. And those that play them do seem to be the most obsessed nerds, the ones that other nerds can least understand or relate to, and that’s why they end up at the bottom.
At any rate, that’s my answer. I’d genuinely love to hear
everybody’s thoughts below.
Reboots Are Made for Walkin’
Charles C.:
Hey Mr. Postman, I’m a big fan of your column.
I finally watched Man of Steel the other day. I thought
it was kind of good, but not great. It was… watchable. But it got me
thinking, why did Superman have to kill and didn’t that ruin the movie and the
character? No, just kidding. It got me thinking, does every “reboot”
have to start with an origin story?
I don’t own any comic books, and have never read any. But
I know the origins of all of the major comic book heroes thanks to cartoons,
movies, TV, and the Internet. Part of the reason I only found Man of Steel
okay, was that I KNOW the first half of the movie. Sure, it was slightly
different I guess, but not enough to make it interesting for me. I have no
interest in seeing the new new Spiderman 1, because I have seen the old new
Spiderman (and various cartoons) and new new Spiderman 1 is just an origin
story with a different first villian (than some, same as others).
So is it possible to have a reboot without an origin?
Like the next Batman without a lengthy intro into how and why Bruce Wayne
becomes Batman? Would any movie, cartoon, TV show ever even change the
origin of popular superheroes anyway?
You see, Man of Steel was terrible because Superman does not
kill—oh, wait. Sorry, I read “Man of Steel” and just went into my regular
diatribe. Sorry!
Obviously, origin stories are useful if not necessary
anytime a superhero first graces the screen, like Captain America, Thor or Green Lantern. That’s obvious. But
there are two reasons why Hollywood keeps retelling origin stories: 1) when
making a reboot, it’s super-fucking easy to start over from the beginning —
seriously, letting Peter Parker get bit by a radioactive spider is an easy 40
minutes of screen time, right there; and 2) Hollywood thinks we’re all idiots
who can’t possibly remember how Spider-Man became Spider-Man, even though his origin been recounted in countless mediums hundreds of times, including one of the most
popular movies of 2002. People know it, or at least they know it enough that
they could watch Spider-Man swing into a movie frame and not scream, “Wait a
second! Who is this guy, and how has he received such amazing powers?!”
Here’s my criterion for whether an origin story needs to be told: Does my completely non-nerdy mom know
this superhero’s origin through its prevalence in pop culture? If so, then
Hollywood never needs to fucking tell it again. I’d say Spider-Man and Superman
are definitely on this list. Maybe
she couldn’t remember that Batman watched his parents get gunned down by a
mugger as a kid, but at the same time, he’s the goddamned Batman. He hates
crime. She knows that, and that’s really all she needs to know.
A League of Their Own
Dominik Z.:
Dear
Postman,I recently caught up with Arrow, having previously dismissed it after the third
episode. To my surprise I genuinely enjoy this show – it’s not perfect, and
there’s still plenty stupid, but there are more pros than cons. Also, the
recent appearance of Grant Gustin as Barry Allen made me cautiously hopeful for
an enjoyable Flash series.
Suddenly I had an idea – could CW be building up their own Justice League?
We’ve already got Green Arrow, Black Canary and the Flash. Considering what
happened in Central City we suddenly have several metahumans running around
alongside the Flash, some of them heroes, some villains. Arrow is turning Roy
Harper into Red Arrow or Arsenal. We already know that Nightwing is coming. And
what better place to try reintroducing Green Lantern than the Flash show –
which could in turn lead to a GL show. Even if the Hourman show, Brimstone
pretending to be about Constantine and Young Gordon show end up being not
connected to the Arrow-verse, we could still unite all those characters into a
team similar to the Justice League and give them a miniseries or a TV movie.
So what do you think – plausible or just wishful thinking?
Totally wishful thinking. I mean, there technically is a CW
DC TV-iverse now, but it’s never going to include Batman or Superman, because
DC/WB is going to keep them on the big screen, and the SFX needed to make a
half-way decent Green Lantern TV series is cost prohibitive for the big
networks, let alone The CW. (The reason The Flash is at all doable is that The Flash basically
needs one special effect — to look like he’s running really fast — which they can then repeat
ad nauseum.)
Sure, I can easily see The CW managing to make a special
event mini-series crossover between Arrow, The Flash, whatever other DC shows
they manage to make, along with the rest of Arrow’s expanding super-cast. And maybe
they’ll call it the Justice League, but if so it would be a Justice League
consisting of Arrow, the Flash, Nightwing, Black Canary, and a few others. Does
that really count as the Justice League for you?
Doctor Wha-?
Jaime M.:
Why not an American Doctor? If a woman could play the
Doctor than surely an American actor could. I suppose you can argue that
being British is integral to Doctor Who. But following that logic others
can argue that being a white male is integral to the character of the Doctor.
And it’s canon! Eric Roberts portrayed the Master (admittedly
poorly) in the Doctor Who TV movie. I can think of a number of American
actors who would be great for the role: Michael Emerson, Zachary Levi, Kristen
Schaal, Ron Glass, just off the top of my head. And with Doctor Who more
popular than ever in the U.S. I think that it would be a great time to do it
(after Capaldi of course).
Oh shit.
Okay. Huh.
Let me first say that as a guy who is clearly all for a
female and/or non-Caucasian Doctor, the idea of a non-British Doctor appalls
me. I understand the hypocrisy here, but it’s not something I can just dismiss,
so I’d like to think there has to be a reason behind it. Let’s see.
I feel the Doctor isn’t intrinsically male or white, but I
do feel he’s intrinsically British. I don’t think swapping the Doctor’s gender
or race would fundamentally change the character at all, but changing his
nationality would somehow be a betrayal. I’m not saying the Doctor can’t be
American — the story-telling mechanism of regeneration that would allow the
character to become a black woman certainly allows for a nationality change —
but nationality is almost a matter of personality, and while the Doctor can
switch personalities, there’s a broader aspect to it that becoming an American
would just seem untrue to the character to me, in a way that race or gender
does not.
Some things can be adapted to any culture; there are plenty
of foreign shows that are remade in America and are excellent, and there are
some American shows that get adapted for foreign countries that take on new
life. But some things can’t be transposed without losing something in the
process, and I think Doctor Who might be one of those things. That’s to say,
sure, the Doctor can be an America, but I really don’t want him to be.
Maybe I’m crazy. Maybe it’s pure hypocrisy on my part. Or
maybe since white male Americans pretty much dominate the world’s pop culture
landscape, that I would hate for something as unique and individual as Doctor
Who to get amalgamated by the machine.
Do you have questions about anything scifi, fantasy, superhero, or nerd-related? Email the [email protected]! No question too difficult, no question too dumb! Obviously!
