White Girls Rapping about Windows Phone 7 Is Worse than Your Parents Having Sex

This morning I watched a video compilation of botflies—parasitic, skin-burrowing larvae—being pulled out of bleeding human flesh. Compared to this "Windows Phone 7 Fangirls Video," the botfly footage is like butter and candy. This internet deserves destruction. Now.

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Don't get me wrong! I totally love Windows Phone—but if there's any truism through human civilization, it's that white people will ruin anything they touch if provided the chance.

The girl in red murmuring "holla," repeatedly.

One of them says "IN DA HOOOOUSE."

"Sleek on the outside, Microsoft inside."

The four of them lurching from side to side, eyes blank, as if just released from some weeklong novacaine binge.

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The fact that the words "keep my phone in my back pocket, Powerpoints always on my hip socket" were uttered, ever, for any reason.

This is inexcusable. How can I reverse this? If I throw my phone into Mount Doom, will my memory be cleared of this horror? What if I drink bleach? If China wants an argument to keep the web shackled for which there is no refutation, they'll present this video before the United Nations.

I award them five points for their beat selection (Dorrough is probably sobbing right now), for a total of -99999995 points. [Thanks, Whitney!]

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DISCUSSION

I recently purchased a Windows Phone (Focus Flash) to replace my well used and appreciated iPhone 3GS. I've also taken to reading Gizmodo, Jalopnik, etc on my phone as the mobile interface strips away the awkward, sluggish and often incompatible (with my various browsers) layout that Gawker Media sites have adopted during their last refresh; though I digress.

While scrolling down and catching up at lunch today I stumbled upon this article and lit up with amusement over watching this video about Windows Phone on my Windows Phone and the potential hilarity and more likely horror contained in each frame. Imagine my surprise and the overwhelming sense of irony that followed shortly there-after as I realized that my Windows Phone could not play the video as it does not support HTML5.

P.S. — Gawker Mobile doesn't allow commenting, or even display comments by others.... WTF.