White House social media accounts have been posting cryptic messages on X and Instagram this week, including pixelated photos of President Donald Trump made to look like dickpics and a video about something “launching soon,” leading some to worry Trump was about to nuke Iran. Or, perhaps, announce an OnlyFans.
But the real story is something so much stupider and anticlimactic than you can imagine. Thankfully, it’s not nukes or naked photos of the president.
“SOON,” the White House account tweeted Friday morning in one last teaser before the announcement.
Shortly before 11 a.m. ET, it was all revealed: “LAUNCHED: THE WHITE HOUSE APP Live streams. Real-time updates. Straight from the source, no filter. The conversation everyone’s watching is now at your fingertips.”
It’s an app. A stupid little app that’s filled with propaganda about how great President Trump is doing. The app includes “news” that’s actually just press releases from the White House on topics like immigration and nominations to various positions. There are also social media streams for X, TikTok, Facebook, YouTube, and Truth Social.
If you’ve visited the White House website, as unhinged as it is, you can guess what the new app looks like.
There was quite a build-up to the launch this week, when the White House X and Instagram accounts posted a mysterious video with the camera pointed at the ground, showing only a woman’s feet. In the four-second clip, the words “it’s launching soon, right?” could be heard, but it was deleted about 90 minutes later.
Strange video posted earlier by the White House on X, possibly accidentally, in which a female individual, potentially Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, can be heard saying, “It’s launching soon right?” pic.twitter.com/D3XUhUNxAQ
— OSINTdefender (@sentdefender) March 26, 2026
The weirdness kept coming, though. On Thursday, the accounts started posting pixelated images of Trump and Vice President JD Vance, including one of the president that appeared to show a flesh-colored, penis-shaped something-or-other near his crotch.
— The White House (@WhiteHouse) March 27, 2026
All of this stupidity is against a backdrop of a softening U.S. economy, a declining stock market, and rising gas prices.
President Trump launched a war of choice against Iran on Feb. 28, killing that country’s Supreme Leader. But the larger purpose of the war hasn’t been articulated, as government officials sometimes insist it’s about making sure Iran can’t have a nuclear weapon, while other times claiming it’s about regime change.
Trump and his Defense Secretary have declared victory in this war several times now, but there are no signs that Iran, a nation of 90 million people, has given up the fight. In fact, the country’s propagandists are giving American propagandists a run for their money with AI slop videos poking fun at Trump and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.
One such video, shared by Russia’s RT on X, shows the world leaders as Lego characters. Trump and Netanyahu can be seen literally signing a pact with the devil and crying as they’re continually embarrassed by the Iranian military. Cartoon Shahed drones can be seen pummeling targets like Citibank in the UAE, and Iranian missiles hit an American F-35.
In a segment from the video featuring the word “SOON,” U.S. paratroopers are storming beaches and coming back in coffins. Again, this is all in Lego, making it a bit surreal to watch when you remember the stakes. Researchers believe 1,443 civilians have been killed since the start of the war, according to the Washington Post, including at least 217 children.
Iran releases new trolling LEGO video on how Trump and Netanyahu are 'winning' https://t.co/1tcgWxucXM pic.twitter.com/Ww9cOZZhAX
— RT (@RT_com) March 27, 2026
The propaganda coming from both sides seems to be important for different reasons. The Trump regime is desperately trying to seem youthful and in touch with Americans as they wage an unpopular war. The Iranian regime is trying to stay in power and elicit sympathy from the rest of the world as the U.S. threatens to commit war crimes—like when Hegseth said he would give the enemy “no quarter.” But the reality on the ground isn’t going as well for the Americans as Trump and Hegseth would have you believe.
The U.S. has fired 850 Tomahawk missiles since the start of the war, according to a new report from the Washington Post, and there’s alarm inside the Pentagon because only a few hundred are produced each year. They cost $3.6 million a piece and are often used to shoot down $50,000 drones. Those Tomahawk missiles can be shot from more than 1,000 miles away, and that’s the kind of military conflict that America excels at—lobbing expensive munitions from a safe distance.
But all of that could change if President Trump decides he wants to invade Iran with boots on the ground, something that seems to be on the table. There are currently 5,000 troops in the region, thousands more paratroopers from the 82nd Airborne Division on the way, and the Wall Street Journal reported late Thursday that the Trump regime is considering sending 10,000 more service members.
So, the White House wants us to question whether we’re looking at a censored Trump dick pic or a sign of impending mushroom clouds, and it was all just an effort to get us to download an app. Meanwhile, Iran is using AI to churn out Lego-themed South Park skits that make us feel just a little bit more embarrassed about our own leaders. And all the while, events are happening in the Middle East that could very well change the course of history for decades to come.
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