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Will Amber Heard and Elon Musk Die on Mars Together?

Rumors have been swirling for months that SpaceX founder Elon Musk and actress Amber Heard have been dating. But it looks like they’ve finally made that news official. Well, Instagram-official, anyway.


Musk and Heard both posted photos to their Instagram accounts last night showing the couple at the restaurant Moo Moo on the Gold Coast of Australia. Heard is in Australia filming the upcoming movie Aquaman. Heard is playing Mera, Queen of Atlantis. And Musk? Well, it would appear that Musk is in Australia for Heard.

But you have to ask yourself, have they had that conversation yet? You know the one. No, not whether they’re ready to get married or even whether they love each other. I’m talking about the most important question Elon can ask any woman he’s involved with: Will they die on Mars together?

Amber Heard in a promotional shot for the upcoming movie Aquaman, which is currently filming in Australia
Amber Heard in a promotional shot for the upcoming movie Aquaman, which is currently filming in Australia

Amber Heard’s photo on Instagram was simply captioned “Cheeky.” If you take a close look at Musk’s cheek you’ll notice red lipstick.

Elon Musk’s photo had a bit more info, with the caption, “Having moo moo at Moo Moo Gold Coast with @AmberHeard, @CreepyPuppet and @CowanFilms.”

But neither of their photos addressed the very important question of whether they’re ready to take their relationship to the next level. By which I mean the level of spending 18 months in a space capsule together before reaching Mars and eventually dying on the red planet.


Elon Musk is a pretty busy guy, as the head of the space company SpaceX, the head of the car company Tesla, and even making himself CEO of a new company that’s working on what amounts to telepathy, Neuralink. Oh, and he also wants to dig tunnels under LA and fly to Mars and is advising President Trump.


But he’s not too busy for a social life—and a quite robust one at that. Musk has six sons with his first wife Justine and has been married and divorced twice to Talulah Riley. Musk’s second divorce to Riley was finalized last year. Heard’s divorce to Johnny Depp was finalized last summer. But none of their respective partners ever asked each other to die on a planet 249 million miles away, as far as we know.

It looks like if Heard (31) and Musk (45) stick together, they would presumably make the trip to Mars in their old age. Musk has said that he’d like to die on Mars. If they eventually do get married one has to wonder if that’ll be in the prenup.


“Irreconcilable desires to die on Mars versus Earth” would probably be the best reason ever for divorce though. Or “I don’t want to spend a year and a half in a space capsule with you watching you shit into a bag before we land on an uninhabitable planet together and die a horrible, horrible death.” Both pretty good reasons to split, if you ask me.

It could not be confirmed by press time whether Amber Heard was ready to spend a year and a half shitting into a bag to then go die a horrible death on Mars.


[Sydney Morning Herald]

Matt Novak is the editor of Gizmodo's Paleofuture blog

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I hope Musk gets a strong prenup if they get engaged. A very strong one.