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You'll Be Glad This Mind Control Handbook Doesn't Exist... Or Does It?

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Behold the cover to The Person's Guide to Ritual & Invasive Mind Control, a book that purports to teach you how to "filch people's thoughts & manipulate their memories via the nasal cavity."

The first clue that this book isn't actually real probably comes from the name of the author, Ludovico Milgram — no prizes for figuring out where those two names come from. The "free offer" of a "hippocampus pruning hook" is a very nice touch, however. And the authentically worn-looking paperback cover, complete with thrift-store pricetag, is also very well done.

This alluring book cover, showing a woman attempting to access a man's nasal cavity, comes via Scarfolk Town Council, a blog about " a town in North West England that did not progress beyond 1979. Instead, the entire decade of the 1970s loops ad infinitum." And if you want to know more about the town of Scarfolk, there's a handy book for sale called Discovering Scarfolk by Richard Littler — which, unlike the book above, actually is real. (Ish.)


But back to mind control. Here's a great quote from chapter one of Ritual & Invasive Mind Control, as posted on the Scarfolk blog:

...Carefully insert a finger or medical (non-musical) instrument into the nasal cavity. The opening is quite narrow but about 2 metres in it opens out into a larger chamber. Here you will encounter a marsupial called Zimbardo, who guards the entrance to the brain. You will not be able to pass him unless you agree to a wrestling match (Blavatsky rules). Let him win. Once you have access to the brain you will see that its interior resembles bubble wrap. Use your finger/instrument to pop as many of these 'think pockets' as you feel is appropriate. If the subject begins to gurgle or talk backwards, immediately exit the brain via the nostril, ensuring that you take any litter with you...


There's tons more incredible memorabilia from the 1970s that (thankfully) never were, over at Scarfolk Town Council.