YouTube Caption Service Turns Shirtless Man's Razor Tips Into Rambling Manifesto

Illustration for article titled YouTube Caption Service Turns Shirtless Mans Razor Tips Into Rambling Manifesto

Unfortunately, the razor-saving video tip I wanted to show you today was "old news" from February. But! As I sat there this morning, dejected, I decided to click Google's very experimental "Transcribe Audio" feature...and nearly crapped my pants with fear.


You see, Terry, in the video below, is just your average shirtless man with a webcam in his bathroom. He had a technique for saving razor blade cartridges. As any shaving male can tell you, this is a great thing to know—cartridges are expensive and require replacing every three to four weeks or so.

The thing is once Google took his words and ran them through its Closed Captioning algorithm, things got sinister.


Somewhere out there there's a mysterious "he" and for two years Terry's suffered because of him. Maybe his name is Lee, and he's from Atlanta, possibly, but whatever the case may be Terry's been honing his skills down at the Sharpton Shooting Range for 22 months and he's ready. Ready to protect Miss Clark's honor from this thieving Lee guy.

appearing on him here to talk you know
how we've seen him recently
I've discovered that the that's what he's learned recently for
almost two years
it seemed cartridge
the smoke that Lee
it's really a shame
but they seem to last about three week to heal in a bipartisan of the are workers
in Atlanta
and you're very expensive to replace
your grandfather used the leather strap
and touche the street
sharpton shooting range
you're or is made
something like no other
that is correct
this technique
my major is
but hume but it's scratchy
and comparable it take
the backwards about ten thousand modern pressure
on your car
and start shooting
seems to work
Ive done
okay for twenty-two months almost every day
with these marie
miss clark
only do it
when you won
when you review the place you partridge
it works
it's worked for me

Obviously Google's got some work to do on their captioning service (still very much in beta). It's a start though, so good on them for that. [YouTube via Consumerist]

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sammy baby

When I did it, the translation wasn't quite the same. For example, instead of "but hume but it's scratchy", I got "brit hume but it's scratchy." Apparently, the Fox News anchor's name can now be used as an intensifier. I think this should be extended to other Fox News personalities.

"Brit Hume, but it's scratchy!"

"Shep Smith, it's chilly out there!"

"Glen Beck, this boil on my ass hurts!"