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This Is What Happens When You Google “Telephone”

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I’m so depressed. I google one of the most important technologies ever invented, and I get a video of 25-year-old wearing sunglasses made out of cigarettes. Two versions of it before Alexander Graham Bell is even mentioned.

Try it yourself! Use an incognito window. That’s what I did. This could happen to you, too. To your children. To your elderly grandmother, God bless her. I hope she isn’t googling “telephone” because some unfortunate ailment made her forget what a telephone is, and now she thinks you’re trying to sucker her into a Lesbian bondage role-playing fantasy game every time you ask her to give you a ring.

Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Gaga. And I love that video too, but this is messed up. You could call the telephone the progenitor of the modern age, the technology that made the concept of sharing information instantaneously across vast distances possible. Before the telephone, that was called magic. And now, it’s the bronze medalist to fictionalized account of a women’s prison. I need to go watch some FPSRussia and calm down.

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