Winter comes every year. And somehow, every year some of us are caught unawares and unprepared. A few gadgets bought now will last you through at least two—maybe more!—sudden snowfalls.
For getting rid of ice and snow
Not all of us had the foresight to build a roboplow to take care of the snow for us, so we’ll have to buy something to free us from the snow.
Ariens Pro Track 28
Home Owl gives the Ariens Pro Track 28 a perfect score when it comes to removing ice and snow. Of course, it’s currently $2,900 on Amazon, so this is only for the truly paranoid and wealthy. If you’re staring down the barrel of a giant property, lots of snow, and nothing to clear it with, sure, go with this thing. Or if you just want something that’ll throw snow 50 feet.
Snow Joe Cordless Single Stage Brushless Snow Blower
For the rest of us, the first electric snow blower that can be run off a rechargeable battery is probably fine. There’s no fuel to deal with, it starts with a push of a button, and doesn’t have a long cord to wrangle in the cold. Perfect for us snow novices.
Toro 38361 Power Shovel 7.5 Amp Electric Snow Thrower
Cheaper than a snow blower are the electric snow shovels, which are honestly the only thing most snow-attacked city folk will need. It’s small, but it can move 300 pounds of snow a minute. Plus, you’ll get to say you own an electric shovel.
Heated Ice Scraper
Something that melts ice as you scrape it sounds so much easier than putting in some old-fashioned elbow grease. (It’s great for lazy people like me!) And this one charges instead of plugging in, which seems like a necessity when combining water with electricity.
X-Gear Solid Ice Scraper Mitts
Combine your mittens with your ice scraping! Your hands will never be cold and not a weapon again!
Swedish Ice Scraper
According to Wirecutter, this Swedish ice scraper is best for frost and not full snow. But it’s the best designed ice scraper we’ve ever seen. You can hang it on the wall as modern art during the rest of the year. Buy it here.
Garmin Forerunner 225
For going out in the snow
Snow can be fun! As long as you have the right equipment.
There are many ways to increase your shoe’s traction, but these are the easiest buy. Hanwag sells a few boots with fine glass particles embedded in the sole, which makes them perfect for dealing with slick ice (although not much else). More importantly for us average joes not trying to scale a mountain, they transition from outside to inside easily. No clacking about or damaging the floors. Get them here.
Going out into the snow, don’t want to miss a call or stop listening to music, and don’t want to deal with headphones? Get a bluetooth beanie.
Reusable Hand Warmers
You could just go to a drug store and get the kind of hand warmers that fade and then have to be thrown away. Or you can splurge on a rechargeable one. Alternatively, our own Mika McKinnon prefers the “boil-heat storage ones.” You can reuse these hand warmers whenever they stop providing heat by just dropping them in boiling water for a few minutes. They run on science!
Dewalt Heated Jacket
Here’s a jacket with all the amenities. According to its description, a charge should last seven and a half hours, it has four heating zones (left chest, right chest, mid-back, and collar), and three temperature settings. But the one that seals the deal for most of us is the novelty of being able to plug your phone into the USB charger in the jacket. Warm and it charges your phone.
Julbo Vermont Classic Glacier Sunglasses
There’s something classic about these mountaineering glasses. And yet, with spectron 4 polycarbonate lenses, most of the bright light being blasted into your eyes by white, white snow will be blocked. Plus, the sexy nose and side pieces ensures no light sneaks in and also make you look like a supervillain. Get them at L.L. Bean.
The 80 Foot Snowball Launcher
Once you’re out in the snow, why not see if you can murder a friend of yours with a device that launches a snowball 80 feet?
For when you’re snowed in without power
This is the big fear, but there are things that can help with the pain of having no power.
A USB Charger (charged, obviously)
So many of us don’t have landlines anymore. But we do have family that wants to make sure we’ll alright. Do not give in to the temptation to charge your devices just to pass the time playing Candy Crush or Neko Atsume or whatever it is the kids are into now.
All-in-One radio, flashlight, and phone charger
We could tell you to get each of these things separately. In fact, you probably should. But who has the time or space? Just get this thing, which is waterproof and can be charged three different ways (solar panel, hand crank, and just plugging it in before the disaster.)
For when all hope is lost
It wasn’t just a blizzard. It was a Day After Tomorrow style snowpocalypse!
Atlas Saferooms has prefab saferooms ranging from the Apollo (three people) to the Fortress (fourteen people). Or, if you want a more personal touch, you can go with the Panic Room Company. It’ll will work with your interior designer to make sure your paranoia bunker doesn’t mess with the look of your home.
Time to go out, but also to hide.
Hide in wait for the few humans left. (Note: Get the large-size net, which the website explains is for “calves, hogs, deer, humans.”)
Rotisserie grill and spit
And then make dinner.
This is definitely designed for outdoor use but might work over a barrel fire in your kitchen. Or a trashcan fire outside. Just don’t eat yellow snow.
Additional reporting by Mika McKinnon, Alex Cranz, and Andrew Liszewski
Contact the author at firstname.lastname@example.org.