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All Hail Xerxes: The Weather Channel Will Name This Year's Winter Storms

Illustration for article titled All Hail Xerxes: The Weather Channel Will Name This Years Winter Storms

Do you remember the Blizzard of '96? Actually, okay, if you didn't live on the Eastern seaboard probably not. But! For a thrilling snowpocalypse it sure had one boring ass name. Well, the Weather Channel wants to fix that problem by giving winter storms wonderfully geeky names.


Starting with this winter, the Weather Channel will name storms that have a strong chance of causing a "significant impact on populations." This is a good thing because when you give severe storms a name, it makes people pay attention, which increases the likelihood that they'll prepare. A group of "senior meteorologists" got together and came up with this fantastic list of names for this year's storms.

Athena — The Greek goddess of wisdom, courage, inspirations, justice, mathematics and all things wonderful

Brutus — Roman Senator and best known assassin of Julius — Title used by Roman and Byzantine Emperors 

Draco — The first legislator of Athens in Ancient Euclid — A mathematician in Ancient Greece, the Father of Geometry
Freyr — A Norse god associated with fair weather, among other things

Gandolf — A character in a 1896 fantasy novel in a pseudo-medieval countryside

Helen – In Greek mythology, Helen of Troy was the daughter of Zeus

Iago — Enemy of Othello in Shakespeare's play, Othello

Jove — The English name for Jupiter, the Roman god of light and sky.

Kahn — Mongolian conqueror and emperor of the Mongol Empire

Luna — The divine embodiment of the moon in Roman mythology

Magnus — The Father of Europe, Charlemagne the Great, in Latin: Carolus Magnus 

Nemo — A Greek boy's name meaning "from the valley", means "nobody" in Latin 

Orko — The thunder god in Basque mythology

Plato — Greek philosopher and mathematician, who was named by his wrestling coach

Q — The Broadway Express subway line in New York City
Rocky — A single mountain in the Rockies

Saturn — Roman god of time, among other things who had a planet named after him

Triton — In Greek mythology, the messenger of the deep sea, son of Poseidon

Ukko — In Finnish mythology, the god of the sky and weather

Virgil — One of ancient Rome's greatest poets

Walda — Name from Old German meaning "ruler"

Xerxes — The fourth king of the Persian Achaemenid Empire, Xerxes the Great

Yogi — People who do yoga

Zeus — In Greek mythology, the supreme ruler of Mount Olympus and the gods who lived there


Wow. That's what we get for letting a bunch of meteorology nerds name the storms! They are geeky and awesome, yes, but are you really going to be afraid of Severe Winter Storm Ukko? [Weather Underground and The Weather ChannelThanks, Matt!]

Image via xuenay/ Flickr

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They got the descriptions wrong.

Athena - purple haired girl from Saint Seiya

Brutus - Popeye's nemesis

Draco - the Russian who beat the shit out of Rocky

Gandalf - The bearded guy from Lord of the Rings

Kahn - Mortal Kombat's last boss

Nemo - the fish

Plato - that dog's cousin

Saturn - Dreamcast's dad

Virgil - the monkey

Walda - Waldo's (from where's Waldo?) wife

Yogi - yep, the bear.