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Apple Card Also an Apple Knife

Illustration for article titled Apple Card Also an Apple Knife
Screenshot: Ciuski Productions (YouTube)

Apple’s newly available physical credit card may boast of low interest and 3 percent cash-back perks from partners like Uber, but one YouTuber has discovered the card has an unexpected utilitarian function as well: titanium pocket knife.

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A video shared by Mirkojax ASMR and originally posted by the account Ciuski Productions demonstrates how the Apple Card can cut more than fees. As shown early on in the early 8-minute video, the credit card, issued by Goldman Sachs, is not (or should not be) sharp enough out of the box to cut through much of anything without substantial force. But after a good sharpening, you too can use your Apple Card to chop through vegetables, paper, and god knows what else.

The video—which says it was inspired by the everything-into-a-knife channel Kiwami Japan—notes that despite being able to dice celery and carrots with ease, the card “does show discoloration after using.” So assuming you do decide to weaponize your Apple Card into an Apple Knife, keep in mind that denim and leather won’t be the only things marring its delicate titanium surface.

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To be clear, you absolutely should not do this, and Ciuski Productions even notes in the video’s description that it’s meant “for entertainment and informative purposes” only. Plus, aside from the fact that there is no shortage of actual knives available for just about any application, this seems highly impractical, potentially dangerous, and likely unsanitary.

This isn’t even the first time someone has weaponized an otherwise innocuous Apple product—a MacBook Air, for example, can also evidently be used as a knife-like blade. Still, it’s impressive to see that the Apple Card’s apparent perks have now expanded from approval of subprime applicants to functioning shiv.

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DISCUSSION

CrispyAardvark
CrispyAardvark

I’m just curious how those classic movie scenes, the “Sorry sir, your card was declined” [pulls out scissors and snips card in half], would play out with one of these. 

Can you cut the card in half with regular scissors? Did retail cashiers really actually do that back in the day?