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Apple Genius War Stories: "I Got Punched in the Face" and More

Illustration for article titled Apple Genius War Stories: I Got Punched in the Face and More

This is the life of an Apple Genius: Computers caked in toxic waste, screaming customers, dead cats, raging homophobes, and oh yeah—getting punched in the face.


We're protecting the identity of the Geniuses who relayed these tales of total cockbaggage with pseudonyms, since some of them might still work for Apple. If you want to see all of the stories on one page, just click here.


Now tell us, which Genius deserves some free pizza to ease their suffering, like we did for abused Genius Bar customers? (Sorry we can't send you guys a medal, sheesh.)

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I swear we had worst stories at CompUSA during my 6 year stint. My god the crazies.

My favorite was a stripper who came in her (somewhat covering) stage outfit and trench coat and paid for a computer with mostly ones from her giant purse.

Or our weekly creeps that show up and talk to everyone about the strangest stuff for the whole day.

Or people who would bring their little dogs in the store and let them shit all over the place.

Or kids that would shit in the store.

Or the theifs we would often get.

Or people who wanted to return a broken 4 year old product with out a receipt or box and would chuck them at us.

So many more...many of which I've blocked from my memory due to their horror.