Matt Novak, Author at Gizmodo

I Have Seen the Future…

…and all of our necks are broken. Image via Getty: A man wearing virtual reality glasses, pilots a drone during the Global Robot Expo in Madrid on January 31, 2016.

Tech News Matt Novak Feb 3

Amazon Will Open Physical Bookstores Because Life Is a Practical Joke Played On Us All [Updated]

Amazon is working on plans to open hundreds of brick-and-mortar bookstores, according to a new report from CNBC. Yes, following in the footsteps of chains like Borders, Amazon apparently thinks that the future is in dead trees. Amazon already has one physical store that opened back in November. The Seattle store was dismissed as a…

Commerce Matt Novak Feb 2

You Can Buy These New Iowa Caucus Garbage Pail Kids Cards Featuring Donald Dump and Hounded Hillary

It’s showtime. The Iowa Caucus is today and Iowans from all 99 counties are making their voices heard. But the Garbage Pail Kids special Iowa Caucus edition has the candidates as you’ve never seen them before. There’s Donald Dump wiping his buttocks (the best buttocks ever, no doubt) with the US Constitution. And Hounded Hillary…

Tech News Matt Novak Feb 1

College Kids Hope Their Hoverboards Catch Fire So They Can Finally Feel Something

Hoverboards are getting banned on college campuses all across America over safety concerns. And students aren’t too happy about it. Frankly, they don’t mind if their hoverboard catches fire. In fact, some are praying that their own boards do just that—if only so they can feel something. Anything. “Segways and things like that are a…

Tech News Matt Novak Jan 29

Here Is Every Single Movie Bill Clinton Watched In The White House

“The best perk of the White House is not Air Force One or Camp David or anything else, it’s the wonderful movie theater I get here,” President Bill Clinton told Roger Ebert in 1999. According to newly released documents obtained by Gizmodo through a Freedom of Information Act request, President Clinton did indeed love watching…

Tech News Matt Novak Jan 29

How To Not Watch Both Tonight’s Debate And Trump’s Tire Fire If You Don’t Have Cable

Read a fucking book. Or freebase something at random from your medicine cabinet. I assure you, the world will still be there tomorrow—just as shitty as ever. But if you insist.

Tech News Matt Novak Jan 28

Makers of Marlboro Laying Off Workers to Invest in More Vaping

Altria Group, America’s biggest tobacco company and makers of the iconic Marlboro brand, is laying off workers to save $300 million per year. Where are they going to put all that money? Into a true growth market: Electronic cigarettes. Today Altria, formerly known as Philip Morris, controls just over half of the traditional cigarette market…

Tech News Matt Novak Jan 28

This Woman Was a Bored Button-Pusher Before Jane Jetson Was Even Born

Today Cory Doctorow tweeted out a fascinating image showing an RCA computer room in 1959. I can’t stop staring at it. There’s a peculiar artifice to the clearly-staged promotional photo that’s so striking—not only for its incredibly rich colors, but for the expressions on the computer operators’ faces. Especially the woman pushing a button with…

Tech News Matt Novak Jan 27

Card-Free ATMs Are Coming Because Drug Dealers Don’t Take Apple Pay Yet

Virtually every retailer takes credit cards these days. More and more even accept services like Apple Pay. But when you really need cash to buy things like drugs or sex or illegal firearms, Chase will soon make it much more convenient. That’s right, card-free ATMs are on the way. Chase recently announced that it will…

Tech News Matt Novak Jan 27

Spaceport America Wants $2 Million More From Taxpayers For Its Space Tourism Fantasy

If you build it, the space tourists will come. That was the promise to the taxpayers of New Mexico back in 2009 when Spaceport America broke ground. Seven years and roughly $220 million later, New Mexico has little to show for it. And now the private space facility is asking for even more money. New…

Tech News Matt Novak Jan 26

The Doomsday Clock Remains at 3 Minutes to Midnight, But That’s Horrible News

The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists announced today that the Doomsday Clock, which represents our proximity to an apocalyptic event, will remain at three minutes to midnight. But that’s still terrifying. “That decision is not good news but an expression of dismay that world leaders continue to fail to focus their efforts and the world’s…

Tech News Matt Novak Jan 26

If You Had a Time Machine Would You Kill Hitler or Bring This Boarding Pass Back to 1989?

If you ever get a chance to travel back in time to the year 1989 (the year Back to the Future: Part II was released) make sure you bring a United Airlines boarding pass. People will be so excited to see that their dreams of one day owning a hoverboard will come true. The text…

Tech News Matt Novak Jan 26

The FBI Claims Not to Have a File on David Bowie

Hmmmm……. And yes, I did ask for any files under his real name, David Robert Jones, as well. Maybe I should’ve asked for Ziggy Stardust. Sounds like an illegal alien if you ask me. Get it. Wait, do you get it? I said, it sounds like an illegal alien if you ask me. (AP Photo/Matt…

Tech News Matt Novak Jan 25

Man Suffers Amnesia After Falling Off Hoverboard, Thinks It’s 2010

Remember 2010? Barack Obama was president, Americans were debating over immigration policy, and there was intense fighting in the Middle East. It almost feels like yesterday. But recently a man traveled back to that simpler time thanks to a hoverboard. Mark Tamlin, a 39-year-old British man, was tinkering with his son’s hoverboard which seemed to…

Tech News Matt Novak Jan 25

‘Everything Is Terrible’ Is The Only Good Vine Account

Vine just released their playlist of popular vines from the past year. Frankly, most of them are dull as shit. So instead of squeezing off a blog post directing you to mediocre shit curated by Vine, we’ve decided to compile a list of high-quality shit curated from the world of garbage video by Everything Is…

Tech News Matt Novak Jan 22

That Angry Trump Twitter Account is Fake. No, the Other Angry Trump Twitter Account.

Before you retweet some hilariously indignant missive from Donald Trump, we suggest you look a bit closer. Granted, Trump is known for saying outlandish things on Twitter. But there are so many fake Trump Twitter accounts, you might be retweeting a “parody” account. For instance, here’s a tweet that’s doing the rounds, in which “Trump”…

Tech News Matt Novak Jan 22

The Future is Just Two Years Away Forever Until You’re Dead

Did you see the Hyperloop news out of Davos? You could be zipping around in a real-life Hyperloop by 2018! It’s 2016 now, so that makes it… just two years away! Where have we heard that before? When it comes to high-tech projects, they always seem to be just two years away. Whether it’s flying…

Tech News Matt Novak Jan 21

The Future of Dining is Strapping a Smartphone to Your Fucking Face

I swear I had to check three times to make sure this wasn’t from a parody site. But apparently Samsung thinks the future of dining is wearing a virtual reality headset while you’re eating. And to top it all off, the VR makes it look like you’re dining underwater. With dolphins. Again, I swear I…

Tech News Matt Novak Jan 21

Today is the Last Day to Register Your Drone for Free

Do you own a hobby drone in the US? The FAA requires that you register it with them by February 19, 2016. It only costs $5, but today is the last day to register it for free. Back in December, the FAA announced that all drones weighing more than half a pound and less than…

Tech News Matt Novak Jan 21

How Does God Want You to Watch TV?

It’s one of the most important theological questions of our generation: How does God want us to watch TV? Does God approve of services like Hulu and Netflix? Certainly not, according to one executive at NBC. Alan Wurtzel, the president of research and development for NBCUniversal, recently made a bold declaration on the holiness of…

Television Matt Novak Jan 19

Matt Novak

I Have Seen the Future…

Amazon Will Open Physical Bookstores Because Life Is a Practical Joke Played On Us All [Updated]

You Can Buy These New Iowa Caucus Garbage Pail Kids Cards Featuring Donald Dump and Hounded Hillary

College Kids Hope Their Hoverboards Catch Fire So They Can Finally Feel Something

Here Is Every Single Movie Bill Clinton Watched In The White House

How To Not Watch Both Tonight’s Debate And Trump’s Tire Fire If You Don’t Have Cable

Makers of Marlboro Laying Off Workers to Invest in More Vaping

This Woman Was a Bored Button-Pusher Before Jane Jetson Was Even Born

Card-Free ATMs Are Coming Because Drug Dealers Don’t Take Apple Pay Yet

Spaceport America Wants $2 Million More From Taxpayers For Its Space Tourism Fantasy

The Doomsday Clock Remains at 3 Minutes to Midnight, But That’s Horrible News

If You Had a Time Machine Would You Kill Hitler or Bring This Boarding Pass Back to 1989?

The FBI Claims Not to Have a File on David Bowie

Man Suffers Amnesia After Falling Off Hoverboard, Thinks It’s 2010

‘Everything Is Terrible’ Is The Only Good Vine Account

That Angry Trump Twitter Account is Fake. No, the Other Angry Trump Twitter Account.

The Future is Just Two Years Away Forever Until You’re Dead

The Future of Dining is Strapping a Smartphone to Your Fucking Face

Today is the Last Day to Register Your Drone for Free

How Does God Want You to Watch TV?

Bose SoundLink Max Bluetooth Speaker Quietly Drops to Its Lowest Price, Now Cheaper Than Last Week’s Low

The Wicked Stepmother of ‘The Testaments’ Is So Much Fun to Hate

Apple’s Smart Glasses Are Stepping Into a Privacy Minefield

Allbirds Is Getting Out of the Shoe Business and Pivoting to AI Infrastructure

Anker Nebula P1i Portable Projector Debuted at CES 2026 and Now Hits Record Low Just Weeks After Launch

There’s No Saving Windows 11. It’s Time for Windows 12

Axiom Space Is Ready to Test Its Next-Generation Spacesuit in 2027

Astronomers Just Dropped the Largest High-Res 3D Map of the Universe

Samsung 27″ Monitor Now Cheaper Than 24″ After Quiet Price Drop, Basically a Free Upgrade to a Bigger Screen

The ‘Good Omens’ Finale Trailer Wants You to Think About the End and Nothing Else

Sony Inzone H6 Air Review: A Perfect Case for Open-Back Gaming Headsets

Anker’s EufyMake E1 Finally Brings Printers Out of the Dark Ages

The Soundboks Mix Is Going to Make You the Most Popular Guy at the Park

Asus Zenbook A16 Review: Start Considering Snapdragon on PC, for Real

Aqara Thermostat Hub W200 Review: Almost Better than My Ecobee

HP Omen Max 45L Review: 4K60 Gaming Has Never Been So Easy

Ecovacs Winbot W3 Omni Review: Window Cleaning Robots Have a Long Way to Go

AirPods Max 2 vs. Bose QuietComfort Ultra Headphones (2nd Gen): Which ANC Headphones Win?

The Best Gadgets of March 2026

AirPods Max 2 Review: Still Ridiculously Expensive and Ridiculously Nice