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Beauty and the Beast's So Boring, Ripping a Heart Out Can't Save It

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OH GOD, WHY IS THIS SHOW SO BORING? It literally showed Vincent removing a dude's heart, Temple of Doom-style, and that's barely enough to pique my interest.

The good news is that I've found the cure for my chronic insomnia. The bad news is that this show reached whole new heights of repetitive dullness this week. The most fun I had was saying the hashtag in the corner of the screen ,"BATB," out loud. Let's get through this plot as quickly as possible:

Vincent's supposedly two missions (aka, two more kills) away from being "free" from Condor (aka Cat's bio-Dad). The penultimate mission is to kill some dude who is essentially Howard Hughes (they say Trump, but money and paranoia says Hughes), and was experimented on 30 years ago. Vincent goes to kill him, gets caught, Howard Hughes Beast attacks his own daughter, and Vincent grabs her and legs it.


Gabe continues to be the only one with anything approaching sense. He knows, as does everyone else with a functional brain, that the last mission Vincent goes on will literally be the last thing he does. He goes through his Muirfield notes and also narrows in on Howard Hughes Beast. Also, he's super into the idea of trying the defibrillator cure on this guy. Cat likes this idea, too, and thinks that they can use the daughter Vincent has as leverage to ask Howard Hughes Beast to undergo the Body Electric.


Cat, texting Gabe the perfect description of this episode.

Meanwhile, Cat's confronted her bio-Dad. He tells her that her mother asked him to stay away, so he did. And when her mother died, he didn't want to capitalize on her death and bother Cat. The two of them bother Hughes Beast, and Cat uses something in his home to find Vincent.

He's in the woods, using the tracking device Hughes Beast put into his daughter in order to lure him out there to be killed. The daughter and Cat have a boring conversation about love killing the Beast inside them. Also, electricity. Cat tells her that electricity may also kill the Beast.

Cat offers Hughes Beast his daughter in exchange for trying the Flatline "cure." She introduces Gabe as "the man who's going to kill you." Gabe says they have the same Muirfield strain, so it might work. Of course, he asks to see his daughter, Beasts out, rips through the restraints. . . and then Vincent rips his heart out. Right in front of his daughter.


And the next scene is Cat at a bakery having a stilted conversation with her bio-dad. The show ends on "P.S. The daughter's also a Beast."


All of this was a massive rehash of other things this season. Gabe wants to find a cure. Vincent's remembering Cat. Vincent's hunting another Beast. Cat's bio-dad's still not a viable baddie. Vincent goes overboard as a Beast, Cat questions whether he can be saved. Tess keeps shipping Gabe/Cat. Yawn. I keep wondering if they think repeating every storyline, over and over like a hammer driving a nail into my brain, will create some kind of depth.

Everything that should be interesting, just isn't. The Beast of the Week and his daughter have only like five minutes together, so that relationship has no depth. Cat confronts her stalky bio-dad, and they have a boring conversation about her mother. She's not really angry, he's not really righteous or pleading. Even the heart thing just elicits a "Nice try."


It's. So. Flat. It's not bad enough to be fun and not good enough to be worth your time. It's just a generic show. If you just want to turn the TV on and watch "some show," there it is: "Some show."