Behold the Meatiest Sandwich in Human History

Illustration for article titled Behold the Meatiest Sandwich in Human History

Genghis Khan. Alexander the Great. Dagwood. Men of insatiable appetites, all. But none of them came close to creating—much less consuming—a sandwich of this magnitude. Bow, mortal, to the 35 meats, 28 pounds, and countless shuttered arteries that comprise the meatiest sandwich ever.


British chef/madman Tristan Welch created the flesh-pile in honor of the UK debut of Man Versus Food, a popularish US show that features a large, affable man who travels from town to town, engaging in food challenges while being cheered on by locals who are excited to be on television. It's a triumph of conspicuous consumption, and there really couldn't be a more fitting tribute than a sandwich the size of a three year-old human person.

The full rundown of ingredients, if you're looking for a project this Memorial Day weekend:

120g Ndjua
260g roast beef
120g boiled ham
160g Proscuitto
150g honey-roast ham
90g cooked turkey
155g cooked chicken
155g garlic chicken
180g smoked duck breast
120g cooked pork
120g roast ham
280g corned beef
150g German salami
150g Italian sausage
240g cured ham
80g French peppercorn salami
70g Saucisson Sec de Provence
70g herbed Saucisson Sec de Provence
360g chorizo
70g serrano ham
80g pastrami
140g pancetta
150g bacon
70g garlic salami
70g Italian salami
80g dry-cured Proscuitto
380g Bratwurst sausage
150g breaded ham
100g Mortadella
100g Speck
150 Parma ham
65g Jambon Iberico de Bellota
140g Finocchiona
70g wild boar pork salami
100g smoked venison
250g beetroot, sliced
110g assorted salad leaves
1 large red onion, sliced into rings
680g gherkins, sliced
1 large loaf of bread


As Geekologie points out, that's 2.5 pounds of non-meat in a 28-pound sandwich. And you can move that ratio even more if you just go easy on the beetroot. [Food Network via Geekologie]

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I'm really not bothered by the size of this sandwich, nor the tremendous amount of calories, fat, and sodium it probably contains. Anyone can go on a diatribe about how much people these days overeat and how this sandwich is just fuel to the growing fire that is "the obesity epidemic". But honestly, that isn't what bothers me most.

What bothers me most, and one of the reasons I dislike Man vs Food, is this new culinary ideal of just throwing together an assortment array of flavors just to create one massive concoction of a dish.

You see it all the time, "chefs" combining a variety of foods into one dish purely because individually each food tastes good. Your taste buds aren't that good, trust me. You will not be able to differentiate between thirty-five different types of meat. Hell, if you make that sandwich the exact same size but only include four or five meats you will probably just be able to taste "meat".

I'm not impressed with this in the same way I'm not impressed with a burrito with fifty different ingredients. Great food tastes great because the chef understands how flavors compliment each other.

Less is more.