Blood Energy Potion Cures Imaginary Afflicitions Four Hours At A Time

Illustration for article titled Blood Energy Potion Cures Imaginary Afflicitions Four Hours At A Time

Jack pointed out the lameness and creepiness of the Blood Energy Potion, but it gets lamer and creepier. The makers are touting it as being the best way to deal with your imagined vampirism while drinking faux blood.


Yes, here comes the lameness in pretty much the funkiest way of saying that something will give you a four hour energy boost I've seen in a while:

Blood Energy Potion is packed with iron, protein and electrolytes, providing up to four hours of energy. This blood drink features the same color, consistency and tactile experience of real blood, quelling those otherworldly cravings that polite mortal society frowns upon. It is important to understand that Blood Energy Potion is not a treatment for Vampirism, but regular use may help control certain symptoms of Bloodlust, including:

  • Unquenchable thirst
  • Irritability
  • Restlessness
  • Inability to control behavior
  • Insomnia
  • Brutal, violent attacks
  • Homicide

Odd choice of advertising aside, his creepy goop is now available for $3.99 a shot (less than the six buckeroos we previously thought) and I, for one, am gonna try it out just to see if it'll quell those homicidal urges. [Living With Bloodlust]

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It'd be more fun to stuff a cooler full of these and just toss them to random people in the street. They won't read the label. They'll just think some whackjob is handing them blood that may have been stolen from a blood bank. #bloodenergypotion