Defenseless Elderly Woman Held Hostage by Maniacal Scooter

Illustration for article titled Defenseless Elderly Woman Held Hostage by Maniacal Scooter

As predicted by Battlestar Galactica, machines are beginning their takeover. An elderly woman in Cornwall, England was seated peacefully on her supposedly-helpful scooter when the iron-hearted machine forcefully drove her onto a highway without permission.


The scooter planned its move carefully. It knew the woman's husband, recovering from a triple-bypass surgery, would be unable to chase after it. It waited until its innocent owner had dozed off, leaving her incapacitated and vulnerable. And it even showed signs of weakness prior to the kidnapping attempt, appearing unreliable, so when it did make its move, it would be all the more shocking.

It did not, however, account for the superior force of the Cornwall police department, which found it "swerving" on the highway five miles from home. The Cornish police captured the scooter and returned it to its now-wary owner. According to the BBC, "It took [officer] Michael Ginnelly an hour to drive the scooter back to Perranporth."


Said owner Eileen Bishop, "I just lost him. I was half asleep to tell you the truth."

Chilling. [BBC, image also BBC]

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These things need a kill switch, like a car or machinery that detects a dead (or sleeping) person in control and shuts down. Sometimes naps just happen, but she could have been seriously injured or caused someone else to be. Poor thing, imagine the ribbing she is taking. I hope she beats them with her cane.