If there's anything that Anna Chapman is apparently worse at than being a Russian spy, it's holding down a job. She's now gone from bank IT, to cosmonaut suit design, to... get ready... venture capital editor. This just got personal.

It's one thing to spy on my country, Anna. I get it. Global intrigue. We do it too. But getting into tech journalism? How are my coworkers and I supposed to compete with you? You're clearly unstoppable, having overcome both the CIA and ineptitude to reach superstardom and the cover of Maxim. I'll never be on the cover of Maxim. You say your publication will "promote a positive image of young entrepreneurs, innovators, and technological business managers." Will you crush Gizmodo in the process? Have you already cracked into my email? Spare us. Or, if you have to crush us in your media takeover, at least bring us with you—we've always wanted to see Moscow! [Danger Room]


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