Doomsday-Crying Man Tries Suing the Crap Out of the Large Hadron Collider

Illustration for article titled Doomsday-Crying Man Tries Suing the Crap Out of the Large Hadron Collider

Thought Hawaiians were relaxed types? Not Walter Wagner, who got so worked-up over the implications of the Large Hadron Collider, he fought it in court—the US court. Naturally, he was told to pipe down and take it overseas.

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Senior District Judge Helen Gillmor, who presided over Wagner's most recent court case (he first took up the legal battle in 2008), explained to the paranoid man that "the U.S. government enjoys only observer status on the CERN council, and has no control over CERN or its operations. Accordingly, the alleged injury, destruction of the earth, is in no way attributable to the U.S. government's failure to draft an environmental impact statement."

According to the documents detailing the court's decision, Wagner "alleged that experiments at the Large Hadron Collider (the "Collider") have "potential adverse consequences."" Like destroying the world? [Symmetry Magazine via Discover via Maximum PC]

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DISCUSSION

People really need to read up on black holes before they start spouting off about them

IF the LHC forms a black hole, it will be microscopic, and collapse on itself almost instantly.

To pose a threat, something with the mass of a neutron star would have to collapse and form a black hole.

A neutron star has more mass than our sun.

The particles that are being collided are small.

let me explain how small they are.

Draw a line 1 millimeter in length.

Now, slice that into 1000 slices.

Each slice is called a Micron.

The cells in your body are 2 microns.

Now, take one of those microns and slice it into 10,000 slices.

The resulting slices are called Angstroms.

This is the size we are dealing with.

The particles the LHC are colliding are 1 angstrom in diameter.

The LHC is not going to destroy the world.