Happy Death Day to Cicero, the World's First Internet Troll

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Today is a solemn one: December 7th, 43 BC, Ancient Greek sculptor Marcus Tullius Cicero passes suddenly, tragically from this planet. The demise of Cicero, inarguably the most baleful anniversary of this dark date, arcs to our era: internet trolling lives.

Though he didn't, in a strict technical sense, use the internet, Cicero operated on a "cyber web" of sorts, attracting the ears of senators with his golden tongue, creating a "network" of influence perhaps greater than anything with an ethernet jack. He's known for several of the greatest reforms of Hellenist antiquity: the reform of the aqueducts, the erection of town hall, and the progression of various numbers.


But Cicero was above all, a troll, constantly reminding his peers of their errors, all while grinning and drinking grape drink:

Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.
He does not seem to me to be a free man who does not sometimes do nothing.
Nothing stands out so conspicuously, or remains so firmly fixed in the memory, as something which you have blundered.


And other annoyances. It was his opposition to the uncommon man, however, that was Cicero's undoing. Entrenching himself against the rule of Mark Anthony and delivering a blistering series of speeches criticizing him—the Philippicae—Cicero forever changed the role of guys doin' stuff to each other online, etc.