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Martin Shkreli Gets Himself Thrown in Jail Ahead of Schedule

Photo: AP
Photo: AP

Martin Shkreli, the cancer drug price-jacking pharmaceutical executive and convicted securities fraudster for whom the moniker “Pharma Bro” is among his politer nicknames, will be behind bars a little earlier than anticipated.

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On Wednesday, U.S. District Judge Kiyo Matsumoto revoked Shkreli’s $5 million bail, the Washington Post reported, citing the con’s goblinoid social media habits. Matsumoto specifically referred to a post in which Shkreli offered $5,000 to anyone willing to yank out former presidential candidate Hillary Clinton’s hair during her book tour.

Shkreli made the post in early September while awaiting sentencing for his fraud case, for which he could face up to 20 years in prison.

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“He does not need to apologize to me,” Matsumoto said. “He should have apologized to the government, the Secret Service, and Hillary Clinton.”

“The fact that he continues to remain unaware of the inappropriateness of his actions or words demonstrates to me that he may be creating ongoing risk to the community,” the judge added. “... This is a solicitation of assault. That is not protected by the First Amendment.”

Per the Post, when prosecutors moved to have Shkreli’s bail revoked, he took to Facebook to write, “Lol Hillary Clinton’s presumptive agents are hard at work. It was just a prank, bro! But still, lock HER up. Spend your resources investigating her, not me!!”

In court, Shkreli took a different tack, arguing that “It never occurred to me that my awkward attempt at humor or satire would cause Mrs. Clinton or the Secret Service any distress.”

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So in other words:

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The decision essentially means Shkreli will have to fight his conviction from a jail cell, perhaps complicating his plans to sell off his private Wu-Tang Clan album for at least $1 million on Ebay.

[Washington Post]

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"... An upperclassman who had been researching terrorist groups online." - Washington Post

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DISCUSSION

sillysaur
Zach Miller

AND LO, A CHOIR OF ANGELS DID DESCEND AND SANG IN HARMONY

“FUCK THIS GUY. FUCK THIS GUY RIGHT IN HIS SMUG FUCKING FACE.”

AND GOD SAID, IT IS GOOD.