Over a decade in, the value proposition of Twitter as a medium is murky, not easily defined—though one area it undoubtedly excels is allowing important people to show every embarrassing contour of their entire ass to the rest of the world. Albeit buried under months or years of less interesting posts, miraculously, many of these public faceplants remain available to this very day.
There are some who believe that deleting tweets is the refuge of cowards. Those people are absolutely correct. But there are also some tweets so embarrassing or unbounded from basic decency that perhaps they should inspire a pang of cowardice in their author.
Yes, I do wear Google Glass into public restrooms. So far no trouble.
Would you?
At NextWeb @andrewkeen and I will talk about that.
— Robert Scoble (@Scobleizer) April 23, 2013
Bin Laden has won, in airports of the world every day. I had a little jar of honey, now thrown away by rule-bound dundridges. STUPID waste.
— Richard Dawkins (@RichardDawkins) November 3, 2013
In the past 48hrs, the USA horrifically lost 34 people to mass shootings.
On average, across any 48hrs, we also lose…
500 to Medical errors
300 to the Flu
250 to Suicide
200 to Car Accidents
40 to Homicide via HandgunOften our emotions respond more to spectacle than to data.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) August 4, 2019
https://twitter.com/embed/status/872862858073296897
Blessedly there is more than one flavor of Dumb Tweet Yet To Be Deleted. A top contender in this joyous season of remembrance is the dipshit boss who tweets his way into legal trouble:
Am considering taking Tesla private at $420. Funding secured.
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 7, 2018
https://twitter.com/embed/status/1161268795278790658
Or its close relative, the idiot prognosticator, disproved by the steady march of time and common sense. We can likely assume a similar list next year will include John McAfee’s threat to eat his own penis.
https://twitter.com/embed/status/887641703817121793
If Trump gets impeached, I will donate my Left testicle to medical research.
You can quote me on this.— Joey Salads (@JoeySalads) September 24, 2019
Some of the best, however, aren’t necessarily Bad Tweets in and of themselves, but shocking instances where the mask drops off. To wit: Piers Morgan feels about Piers Morgan the way anyone else does.
I want to die.
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) September 2, 2012
The ever robotic Cory Booker has tweeted almost the exact same non-joke about coffee fifteen (15!) times
Sleep and I broke up tonight. I'm now dating coffee. She is hot RT @ellesep I have a date with my bed tonight.
— Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) April 20, 2012
Former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, howling into a digital void, showed himself to be volatile, thin-skinned, and inept—and kept this tweet up despite years later taking on a job that would result in his every communication with the public being scrutinized.
whomever just unfollowed me – show yourself you coward
— Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) February 11, 2013
Chuck Grassley (and most of our elected officials) are unashamed to show signs of dementia loudly and in front of everyone
Fred and I hit a deer on hiway 136 south of Dyersville. After I pulled fender rubbing on tire we continued to farm. Assume deer dead
— Chuck Grassley (@ChuckGrassley) October 26, 2012
But perhaps my favorite undeleted tweet of this horrific decade, the epitome of the bleak, manufactured PR and total lack of self-awareness that thrives equally in politics and Twitter:
#SecretSanta in the office pic.twitter.com/WfzqnLYnqT
— Pete Buttigieg (@PeteButtigieg) December 3, 2015
Mayor Pete’s “secret Santa,” which seemingly includes no gifts or participants, and two Chiptole bags at the peak of the Mexican chain restaurant’s e.coli crisis.
Recall your favorite bad, weird, or memorably stupid tweets. Put them in the comments below if you feel the inclination. I’ll add them to the post if I feel like it, based on criteria unknown to you or me, because it’s my post and I can do that. Better yet, make your New Year’s resolution to stop tweeting and be rid of that awful website. Whatever you choose to do, thanks for spending another year reading our own bad, weird, and memorably stupid blogs on Gizmodo.
