Paramount just hired a writer to reboot its Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. Cowabunga?

Ok, yes, Michael Bay’s cinematic work on Transformers has left a psychic scar on the minds of a generation. But putting the man who loves blowing things up on big, dumb, and loud cosmic bounty hunter Lobo? It’s a match made in hog heaven, bastiches.

Never let it be said that Michael Bay is not a man without a very well-defined directorial sensibility. Michael Bay is extremely good at being Michael Bay and the minute you start watching a Michael Bay movie, you know exactly what you’re in for. This is extremely true of Transformers: The Last Knight.

Guten tag, my... uh... gang, I guess? Please enjoy a bit of “Postal Apocalypse” calm before the storm of San Diego Comic-Con! This week: Disney’s Star Wars problem, whether Secret Empire will come to the MCU, and how to show someone you love something that’s become problematic over time. Also, I, uh, write a …

Did you see Michael Bay’s fifth movie in the disturbingly profitable Transformers franchise this weekend? Did you have a question about it, besides “Why is this movie about giant robots and explosions so boring?” Our patented Spoiler FAQ has all the answers you need and also probably several you didn’t.

Remember 10 years ago when director Michael Bay took the simply designed cartoon Transformers of the ‘80s and made them into ultra-complex, shiny beings with so many moving parts they made no sense? Well, what Bay did to the Transformers themselves is what he’s done to the fifth film in the franchise, The Last Knight. 

Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox left after three films. And now it seems like it’s possible the latest Transformers star, Mark Wahlberg, won’t even make it that far.

The promise of Transformers: The Last Knight has been that it’s going to shed light on the secret history of Transformers. Seeing as most of the other films in Michael Bay’s franchise haven’t exactly overflowed with a fidelity to continuity, that’s going to be... interesting. Has everything we’ve seen been massively…

More accurately, there are TIE bombers. Okay, even more accurately, there are drones, or small Transformers (I think they may be flying Constructicons?), that happen to very much resemble but not quite enough for copyright infringement TIE bombers.

A new trailer for the fifth Transformers movie is here, and boy... are many, many things happening in it. I’d say it contains a 60/40 percent ratio of explosions to outright gibberish, which indicates to me that it may be the most insane Transformers movie since Dark of the Moon. Judge for yourself.

Wait. Does that mean the Decepticons fought on Hitler’s side?

Anthony Hopkins has worked with some of the best in the business, like Steven Spielberg and Oliver Stone. The latest visionary director to earn Sir Hopkins’ favor? None other than the king of explosions, Michael Bay.

At CinemaCon last week, Michael Bay was asked if he was actually going to be leaving the Transformers franchise this time. He not only said that he’d like to do one more, but that there were already 14 stories ready to go in that universe.

For years, Michael Bay has teased us with the possibility that he might leave the Transformers franchise that he’s nurtured into regular explosion-fests that we have come to, well, not love, but expect. The director has just announced that The Last Knight will be his final Transformers movie, and you shouldn’t believe…

Universal has bought Michael Bay’s new future dystopia project Little America. The movie is apparently set the near-future where a Trump-like president has bankrupted the country, China has called in its debts, and Americans are migrating to China looking for work. It’s also being described as “sci-fun.” I have some…

All the stories you’ve heard about a Michael Bay film set are true. It’s fast, loud, intense and frankly, it’s kind of amazing. Six cameras shoot simultaneously, ranging from 2D to IMAX 3D. Dozens of real Navy SEALS pour out of a crashed ship. Hundreds of live rounds are being fired. Several massive explosions go off.…

Say what you want about the Transformers movies, and we all have, but there’s no denying they deliver spectacle on a level unto themselves. That trend looks like it’ll continue with the fifth film, Transformers: The Last Knight.

Here’s what we know so far about Transformers: The Last Knight. It has King Arthur, Nazis, and Stonehenge. Oh, and presumably some giant transforming robots will make an appearance. That seems like a lot of things to have in one movie.

In the minds of some British veterans, Transformers: The Last Knight’s choice to cover Winston Churchill’s home in Nazi paraphernalia would cause him to roll in his grave. In the mind of Michael Bay, Churchill would be a fan of his movie.

A few months ago, it was reported that Michael Bay cast a poor shelter pup named Freya in the fifth Transformers movie, after reading about her in a UK newspaper. Now the film’s released a whole featurette about her starring role, which will no doubt be as exciting as Optimus fighting a dragon whatever other…