The Latest Steve Jobs Action Figure Is a Horrifying Mutant

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The Japanese Jobs fanboys at Legend Toys absolutely nailed the face of the late Apple tycoon on its newest action figure. It's a phenomenal job. But, quick question—why are his hands the size of skateboards?

Really! The stubble, the glasses, the nose—it's like the toymakers scanned his face before he was sent to the Foxconn cryochamber. Bravo. Even the apple in his hand looks real. But those fingers are something out of a horror move. They're tentacles. This is Tentacle Nightmare Steve Jobs.


AND HIS HANDS. They are not human. They are not of this earth. They are larger than his face. No hands are that big—even those of The Creator. Jonny Ive would spit on those hands.


At least they got that Steve Jobs ass down.

If you'd like to pre-order a Cyborg Prototype Steve Jobs Monster, you can do so here for $200. But be careful: "final product appearance and colours may vary," says the site, so brace yourselves for Blue Steve. [Legend Toys]