This Little Robot Is the Best Way to Clean Bowling Lanes

Ever wonder how bowling lanes stay so shiny and clean? You can thank the unfortunately named Kegel Kustodian.


It looks like a big goofy suitcase, but the Kegel is pretty smart. It cleans and oils the wood then backs up and finds the next lane, all on its own. For the enterprising bowling alley owner, this sports Roomba will also set you back a few thousand dollars.

But the Kegel doesn’t just slap on an even coat of oil—there are patterns. More specifically, there are eight different official distributions of oil, approved by the United States Bowling Congress, in use with the Professional Bowlers Association, each with its own tough, animal-based name (the PBA Tour Viper, for example.) How much oil there is and where it’s distributed has a huge impact on what kind of leniency a shot has. Unlike us beer-guzzling amateurs, the pros have little margin for error.

Senior reporter. Tech + labor /// Keybase: Securedrop: http://gmg7jl25ony5g7ws.onion/



Clean the lanes? Looks more like the best way for me to get my score consistently over 130.