Last week, a bandaged prowler resembling a mummy bedeviled the Houston suburb of Cypress. Residents who encounter the mummy should contact law enforcement. Do not chase him down and grind him into archaic medicine using a mortar and pestle.
...WHAT!?! I can't stop laughing. What is the problem here? How is this a news story? A man saw another man in a mummy costume, and got afraid.
The police spent hours looking for him? What would they have done when they caught him? Is there an anti-Mummy law in Texas with which I'm not familiar?
If you see a man in a mummy costume, call 911. Clearly an emergency.
Good to know the Houston police have this under wraps, though. (ba-dum ching)