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Watch Toys "R" Us' Geoffrey the Giraffe Get Knocked Out of the Ring With an Amazon Box

Illustration for article titled Watch Toys R Us Geoffrey the Giraffe Get Knocked Out of the Ring With an Amazon Box
Screenshot: YouTube
Toys and CollectiblesAction figures, statues, exclusives, and other merchandise. Beware: if you look here, you’re probably going to spend some money afterwards.

Geoffrey the Giraffe, venerable mascot of the now-defunct Toys “R” Us retail chain, was doing pretty good for himself at the Florida Supercon’s FCSW 30-man wrestling rumble on Friday—until, like in real life, he was cold-clocked with an Amazon Prime delivery box and stumbled unconsciously out of the ring.

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Per Pro Wrestling Sheet, a competitor garbed in the famous mascot costume “entered the rumble to hit a clothesline and chokeslam on two wrestlers,” but while bragging to the crowd was slammed from behind by well-known wrestler Gangrel:

While Amazon was not the primary cause of Toys “R” Us’ downfall—that would be the private equity firms that bought the brand in a leveraged buyout and saddled it with huge amounts of debt—competition from huge e-commerce firms like Amazon or big box stores like Target and Walmart didn’t help. Though the toy chain’s revenue held relatively steady before and after the Great Recession, per the Atlantic, its massive, multi-billion debt load left it with little room to innovate and survive.

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In any case, now that Toys “R” Us has liquidated all of its inventory (one person alone reportedly bought $1 million in discounted toys for the needy), Amazon is more than happy to seize the opportunity to carve up what is left of Geoffrey’s market. Recent reports suggest it may be planning on circulating its own holiday toy catalog to millions of Amazon users, replacing Toys “R” Us’ famed version.

[YouTube via Twitter]

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kinjacommenternamegoeshere
KinjaCommenterNameGoesHere

While Amazon was not the primary case of Toys “R” Us’ downfall—that would be the private equity firms that bought the brand in a leveraged buyout and saddled it with huge amounts of debt

Can we stop it with this delusion already?

I mean, if someone had looked at Toys R Us and said “I can run that firm profitably in the 21st century” it wouldn’t have been PE firms buying them for what was essentially a real estate play that were able to come along and offer the best deal.

All the PE firm did was speed up the inevitable. Toys R Us was already falling behind, not because of Amazon but because of Wal-Mart. It wasn’t online shopping that was killing them, it was the fact that they had an archaic inventory model that insisted that every store have the exact same inventory as every other store and that made no effort to run itself in a lean, just-in-time fashion.

That fact is why it was a PE firm, and not some other entity actually interested in running the business itself, that was willing to pay the highest price.

Carrion don’t circle animals that are alive and well.