Did you hear that Kozmo, the wonderful early-aughts delivery service, is maybe coming back sometime soon? Holy crap that makes me simultaneously elated for myself and concerned for humanity. We are all going to die from a terrible case of lazy and/or the economy is going to collapse because Kozmo is the definition of a terrible business.

The epitome of a money-bleeding startup, Kozmo let you get basically anything delivered to your house. Anything. Well it did, until the dot-com crash ate it alive. Back when I was just a wee teenager, Kozmo was my savior. I signed up for it with my mom's credit card to make movie rentals a piece-of-cake, but it wasn't long until I realized I could get a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, a carton of cigarettes, and a six-pack of Coca-Cola along with my DVD rental. Am I over 18? Of course I am! Yes, please! Thank you very much!

I quit smoking a year ago, but if Kozmo relaunches, I'm definitely ordering a pack immediately, just for old-time's sake. What's the first thing you're going to order?


Read more about the possible return of Kozmo.com from our buds at Valleywag.