Whether you like It or not, the "Dark Little Mermaid Movie" is happening

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We all know that the original story of Hans Christian Andersen's Little Mermaid, a dark tale that includes sea-foam stabbings, and magical hair-cutting. But are we really ready for a dark Little Mermaid reinvention, with less singing and more suicide?


THR is reporting that Sony is going to make a DARK Little Mermaid movie. Based on the book Mermaid: A Twist on the Classic Tale by Carolyn Turgeon. And it's written and directed by Shana Feste, of Country Strong fame. (Yes you remember — the country movie that SPOILER ALERT suicided Gwyneth Paltrow's character in the end, which yipes, and also kind of made that film dark pop trash.)

Here's the basic premise of the new re-telling of The Little Mermaid from Amazon:

In Turgeon's surprisingly dark retelling of Hans Christian Andersen's The Little Mermaid, two women pine for the affections of a prince: mermaid Lenia, who pulls Prince Christopher from the sea, and Margrethe, the princess of the rival kingdom, who witnesses the rescue from the convent where she hides from the war raging between their two kingdoms. Lenia, who falls instantly in love with the prince, sacrifices the sea, her voice, and her health to be with him on dry land. Meanwhile, Margrethe believes that marrying the prince would unite their kingdoms, but when she arrives to arrange it, she finds him already enraptured with Lenia. While he remains unaware that the girl he loves is also the mermaid who saved him, Margrethe recognizes her rival immediately and puts into motion a plan to send the ailing mermaid back to the sea and save her own ravaged kingdom. Turgeon has done a superb job of creating compelling characters and conflict from a story already familiar to readers.

Bad idea? Perhaps. Bitter? You betcha. This film is upstaging the much-anticipated original retelling by director Joe Wright (who knows a thing or two about old-fashioned pining). Why are we green-lighting pseudo-Little Mermaid revamps, and turning our backs on a classic retelling from (Hanna and Pride And Prejudice director) Joe Wright? Madness. MADNESS!


Jean Rhys Lives

I am so fed up with literary "retellings." The only ones that are sustainably satisfying anyway are parallel novels.

This is me hinting at Hollywood to adapt a live-action version of John Gardner's "Grendel." Do it. You really wanna.