Illustration for article titled Worry Not About My Infection Because My Infection Is Great

Readers, you may have seen that I was infected with a virus this weekend. It is better now, but to say that is misleading because it was never bad so there is no better state.


You see the virus was actually quite beneficial. I did not need to worry about what it wanted because as it turned out what it wanted was the same as what I wanted. So as you can imagine, it was easiest to just allow it to retain control.

The irony of the situation is that the popups the virus created were used to sell adware software, which I dutifully purchased and paid for. But I will not install it, because to install adware software would be to say that I wanted to get rid of said adware, or malware, or spyware, or any other type of ware that I would be fortunate enough to luck upon in my internet related travels.

So now I am going to le


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