75 Action Comics covers that are worth their weight in gold

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An American family recently used a copy of Action Comics 1 they found in their basement to save their home from foreclosure. In honor of this tale (and DC's 75th anniversary), here are 75 absolutely priceless Action Comics covers.

[Scans via Cover Browser]

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Note the anachronistic dinosaur. Also, I'm pretty sure this cover is implying that Lois is Moses.

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Superman takes modern art way too literally.

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That was the year Superman owed $50,000,000 in FCC violations. He depleted the telethon fund to cover his court fees.

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I like that Superman's not even trying to throw the missile at the sub. It's like punching the barrels in Doom.

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No shit, Lex.

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Is Superman guarding a giant's cash register?

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Beached whales and scared children are of no consequence to Superman.

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This is the weirdest Superman sex dream conceivable.

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Superman trapped a bunch of evil stereotypical children on a prison cloud. The tree is there just to taunt them.

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Superman is furious about the Prankster's lack of effort.

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You know why there's no Santa? Because Superman crushed his solar plexus.

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Ah, the old cookie-cutter room burst.

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A little known power of Superman's is to bless currency with sentience.

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This is Superman's idea of a stag film.

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At this point in Action Comics history, Superman disappointing everyone happens every other cover.

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That's one wan wave, Superman.

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More unknown Superman powers: super-pruning and super-narcissism.

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This is what will happen if Shaq is ever elected president.

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I bet Superman did it himself, and those green rays are just laser pointers.

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I think Lois was okay with the face, but put off by the florid rhetoric.

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I hope Superman flies in this issue, and one-half of his body gets torn off by wind shear.

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This comic was the inspiration for Blackest Night.

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Self-explantory.

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This is the Kryptonian version of "hairy palm syndrome."

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And it's fatal!

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Superman can't stop, but he has the time to give a physics lecture?

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That box is filled with issues of Superman 75.

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It's forbidden because it's fabulous.

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That is some crap bedside manner.

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This is what you get when you tell your cover artist he's being laid off.

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That is the most spectacular suicide I've ever seen.

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It's bad enough that Superman forces his son to dress like him.

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This cover's a band-aid for when five pages of Scooby Doo script get mixed up in your print run.

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Superman has a million kids, and all of them suck.

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Duh.

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Remember the time Superman fought Popeye? Is Captain Strong still in continuity?

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Coincidentally, "The Krypton Connection" is the name of my jazz fusion trio.

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Self-explanatory.

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Superman got drunk and watched Patch Adams.

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That is one callous crowd.

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Is that Captain Strong again?

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Note the litigation-proof Golden Arches.

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This is Superman's idea of a Coppertone ad.

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This is hands-down Lex's coolest plan.

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Does Superman actually fight crime in Action Comics or just act like a diva?

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This is right up there with Daredevil's unicycle.

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Just as Superman makes his kids dress in pajamas, Lex forces his fiances to shave their heads.

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Superman doesn't speak jive.

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Superman doesn't want you to buy his comic.

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Bwahahaha.

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See the bubble at the lower-right.

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Action Comics wasn't always Superman's show. In this issue, Wild Dog recruits the entire Westminster Kennel Club as a sidekick.

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Nice human shield, Speedy.

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Superman hangs out in the woods with children.

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Ah, Super-David Lee Roth.

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That haircut is strange luck. BURNED.

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Thanagarian + Kryptonian = checks + plaid.

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I have no idea who Ralph Edwards is, but I guess he was a nationally syndicated fetishwear enthusiast.

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First his son's outfits, next the world.

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Way to give your kill switch to Richard Nixon.

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When you meet your doppelganger, immediately lob bowling bowls at him.

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No one's going to take you seriously with that shield, Superman.

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Superman vs. West Side Story required severe handicapping.

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Superman vs. the dandies.

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Superman is such a jock.

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There's your comeuppance, Superman.

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Why are Superman's socks worn out? He flies.

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Does this mean Lois was unwittingly dating Perry? Great Caesar's Ghost, that's creepy as shit.