Cool&Hot Comfort Pad Keeps Your Bitch Warm

Illustration for article titled Cool&Hot Comfort Pad Keeps Your Bitch Warm

If your dog is crap at thermoregulation, you are going to need to give the little tyke a hand. The Cool&Hot comfort pad not only comes with a fantastic PR image, but it will also allow your pet to get all cuddled up and warm in the winter, or remain as cool as a corpse throughout the summer.

The controls are only operable by animals with opposable thumbs, but it is suitable for any gender of dog, not just bitches, as the fantastic title of this article suggests. If your canine compadre is the very apple of your eye, or you are Legend, we recommend paying out the highly unreasonable, 18,500 yen ($173.) Be warned though; your little mutt (not a euphemism), is likely to rip through the Cool&Hot pad with its teeth, piss on the exposed electric wiring of the heating element and then scorch its face off as it collapses in a horrific electrifying spasm due to electrocution. You just can't buy that kind of publicity. (No animals were harmed in the making of this article.) [Dvice]

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Screw the bitch. I really could use this for my cock.

What? Roosters get cold too!