Do You Care About Frozen's Origin Story? Nope. OK, Then Skip This OUAT

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The best part of Once Upon A Time last night was cruelly teased and then ripped away. There was a fairy tale Mommy & Me play date and Emma got all upset because she's no longer an infant. The rest was about Frozen. :(

Look, if you're super into the Frozen storyline, this isn't going to be the recap for you. I'm not going to talk about it at great length because it was just really bad. Long story short, the Snow Queen (aunt to Elsa and Anna) had two sisters and together they all went to see Rumpelstiltskin to see if they could stop the young Snow Queen from inadvertently killing people with her snow powers. Rumpelstiltskin gave her some gloves. Magic blocking gloves.


But he also gave them the magic urn in exchange for some friendship bands. In the end, the Snow Queen accidentally kills one of her sisters by turning her into ice, and the other sister (Elsa and Anna's mom) imprisons her in the urn. The end.


No one is surprised by this. Also, a younger version of the Duke of Weaselton is there and that happens because fan service.


But now let's get to the good stuff, specifically the Fairy Tale Mommy Club. This shit is amazing! The good news is, Cinderella was not hurt by the curse. Yay! And neither was her baby! This does not make any sense, but that's OK because in the end, this is a show about magic and one character is a human version of a mouse and two other characters this season were some sort of homage to Lady & the Tramp and sometimes I wonder if they would rather be dogs as opposed to people, but MOVING ON.

So the Baby Princess Mom Club is great. I see this stuff all the time in my neighborhood. Just a flock of moms sitting around having a beer, stroking each others faces and murmuring, "People, people, I remember people." It's great. Mommy support groups are great and I am FOR IT. I am also for a lot of ex-princesses sitting around kvetching about their nipples and how they are scared and nervous and happy all at once. I was INTO this idea. Just imagine: Snow White, "OH this is Neal. We named him after this guy that died saving the town." Cinderella, "Yesterday a bunch of mice made my baby tiny slippers." Sleeping Beauty, "Sometimes I think about Mulan and feel dead inside."


Alas, not enough of that happened. We got some magical baby time, but unfortunately Emma showed up and made the entire Mommy & Me club about her. EMMA EMMA EMMA! Emma struts in and sees Snow White deep in engaging, maternal bliss and then decides to whip out her pout and make Snow White feel like absolute shit for saving her life, her father's life, all the lives of the townspeople of Storybrooke and making sure that Emma (herself) wouldn't be stuck in a never-ending cycle of her own personal hell. But sure Emma, let's make a woman who just ripped another human out of her vagina only to have said newborn child be ripped out of her arms and kidnapped feel awful because you didn't get to do any of the fun infant shit that you wouldn't even remember as a full-grown human being.

Emma is the fucking worst.

So that moment was ruined. Sigh. Ah well, I did enjoy it for what it was. I would enjoy more fairy tale people being afraid of the "devil box" in their hotel rooms.


In other news, Emma now can't control her powers and will probably kill someone, or probably not. Either way, I really hope we find out more stuff about Frozen. /s