Donald Trump Retaliates Against Kim Jong Un's 'Nuclear Button' by Deploying Weapons of Self Humiliation

Image: Screengrab via Twitter
Image: Screengrab via Twitter

On New Year’s Eve, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un warned his enemies “that the whole territory of the U.S. is within the range of our nuclear strike and a nuclear button is always on the desk of my office, and this is just a reality, not a threat.”


In response, President Donald Trump tweeted on Tuesday night that he is in possession of a “much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!”, thus proving the U.S. still has cringe-inducing capabilities the likes of which Kim will never achieve.

The president was apparently not content to leave the world grappling with that imagery alone. Mere minutes later, Trump alerted the public that he would be announcing “THE MOST DISHONEST & CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS OF THE YEAR on Monday at 5:00 o’clock.” He also exhorted everyone to tune into Fox News host Sean Hannity’s show at 9pm ET, just in case you somehow hadn’t had your fill of reality melting before your very eyes yet.


Sorely Vexed

Trump is like Ellis, the idiot “deal guy” in Die Hard who thinks he can negotiate with Hans Gruber and ends up with a bullet in his head.