Long Island is a dangerous place, filled with bad accents and crazy people wandering around, like Verizon technicians. Eric Stetz knows mere deadbolts won't keep them out. No, you've gotta get medieval, Conan the Barbarian style. So he built a booby trap out of a massive knife, crutch and elastic trip-cord to poke intruders in the head. To death. Like the Verizon guy scheduled to visit his apartment.

Luckily for Mr. Verizon, the building's super dropped by to make sure everything was cool, and managed to avoid being chop sueyed with his ninja super skills as the knife snapped at him like cobra when he opened the door. When arrested, Eric asked the cops "Did anyone get hurt with my knives? I wish they did." Since they didn't, the court thought it was cool to release this dude on bail. I love this country. [Newsday via Gothamist]