Hula hoops and fish grenades: two contenders for the worst ninja fight ever

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You may know Hong Kong legend Godfrey Ho from any one of his 100 or so grade-Z movies, such as 1988's cyborgs-versus-Chinese-vampires classic Robo Vampire. But as bad/astounding as Robo Vampire was, it may not be Ho's most ludicrous film.

These clips from 1986's Ninja Fantasy definitely give Vampire a run for its money. In the film, rainbow-colored ninjas fight drug dealers (or something). Things take a turn for the surreal once some innocent-looking fish transform into nautical mines...which transform into ninjas. This is ninjutsu by way of Theodor Geisel.


If you've been having a shitty day, this will cheer you up. Unless you're Godfrey Ho, of course.

After the fish, the hero's gal pal is tortured in a sequence that is so no-budget it's disturbing. When the blue ninja comes back to save the day, he must defeat the deadly ringed ninja.


Are they magic rings? I can't really tell — one sort of blows up. For the most part, they're just plain ol' rings. They're too big for a game of quoits — are they hula hoops? What could they be used for? The orange ninja dies with his secrets, so we'll never know.