IMDB Kills Its Message Boards and Nothing of Value Was Lost

Screenshot: IMDB
Screenshot: IMDB

Whether you’re trying to remember the name of that guy from the thing, or just contrasting a score against Rotten Tomatoes’s to see if it’s worth spending 15 goddamn dollars to see something in theaters, the Internet Movie Database is an indispensable consumer resource. There are many reasons IMDB has become an internet mainstay for the past decade, but the site’s infamously ugly, useless, and tangential forum posts aren’t one of them.

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As the company announced in a post today, February 19th will be the last day users can post to the message boards or send private messages to each other. The decision “was based on data and traffic” which, while abstruse, suggests no one was really using the feature enough to keep it alive. And while the IMDB statement makes no mention of this specific problem, Gizmodo can confirm that the majority of posts on the message boards are low-value crap that does little to enhance anyone’s enjoyment of a film, show, or actor. We can come up with shitty opinions about things all on our own, thank you very much.

In memoriam, here are a few posts from the soon-to-be deceased forum. They’re by no means comprehensive, but for those that haven’t bothered to trawl through the inanity that is the IMDB message boards, these are indicative of what you haven’t missed out on:

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“Just putting it out there” is one of those semantic red flags, like “I’m sorry, but—.” Nothing good ever comes after it.

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Ingrid Bergman died 30 years before this post was made. Humphrey Bogart died 55 years before this post was made.

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Look man, maggots are just doing their job. My dead loved ones—who you really didn’t need to bring up—probably don’t care much, being dead and all. In any case, according to IFC the bit about the crow scene is completely true.

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Time to tell the world I’m better than Batman.

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Is there something ethically wrong with being entertained by a movie as upsetting as Schindler’s List? Or is this commenter slowly realize he or she might be a Nazi sympathizer? You—for the next two weeks, anyway—can be the judge.

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The Matrix has inspired a lot of lame Philosophy 101 discussions. Giving serious consideration to the consequences of a miscarriage in this alternate universe, however, is profoundly upsetting.

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Here’s someone who has invested too much time in a show that can’t love them back.

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It doesn’t end there, though in 600+ words this post never manages to reference Star Wars: Rogue One even once.

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And then there’s this person, who seems extremely nice and also happens to love Brendan Fraser. And Halloween. And the idea that Brendan Fraser celebrates Halloween.

Rest in pieces, and we’ll see you on the Wayback Machine.

[The Verge]

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Senior reporter. Tech + labor /// bgmwrites@gmail.com Keybase: keybase.io/bryangm Securedrop: http://gmg7jl25ony5g7ws.onion/

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DISCUSSION

cygp2p
Prettyboy Superdumb

Really wish more websites would kill open comments sections. I know they drive up clicks and ad serves as people come back to the article to endlessly argue about stupid horseshit, but they are fucking unbearable on 9/10 websites. They regularly turn into unmoderated trolling grounds and grooming farms for extremists, and/or become packed to the gills with shitlords with donkey brains that think reposting the same meme 40 times and making pop culture references are the epitome of literary genius.

Ex-Gawker sites at least have some form of defense in the grey and dismiss systems, most other sites aren’t so lucky. Although Kinja desperately needs a block function ASAP.