Panasonic's Jungle Has Entered its Public Testing Period

Illustration for article titled Panasonics Jungle Has Entered its Public Testing Period

Hey, remember Panasonic's portable online gaming console, the Jungle? It's inching closer to retail, after an email was sent out today to US customers who'd registered interest, offering them a test-run. "We're doing something very different," Panasonic wrote. [Bloomberg]

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Every time I see something about the Jungle, I sit dumbfounded and stare. I truly cannot imagine how any human being could consume enough 'ludes and Vicodin to think that this console is a good idea.

The keyboard is too small to type on, the screen is too small to play MMO's on unless the device is up in your face, the chassis is ugly beyond words, the control scheme would not work for MMO's like WoW, the system runs Linux which rules out nearly every major game, the potential battery life of a device that size is too small for long MMO binges, there's no mouse (ruling out a massive number of MMO control schemes), and 3G is too slow for online gaming.

This is, quite literally, the dumbest idea I have ever seen. Either Panasonic knows something about gamers that I don't, or someone up top has done one too many lines of cocaine off Bobby Kotick's ass.